Scared of leaving for many reasons but should I?

[lexp72]

I have been with my partner for about 4 years and we have lived together for 2. We have a 18 month old daughter (the pregnancy wasn't planned). We got a place together for this reason.
I know this sounds odd but for me this relationship has never felt right. The attraction has never been there, we have different ideas about what we want from life and have come from very different backgrounds. I don't know why I have stayed with him, although he has always been very supportive and kind which has made it hard to leave. I have felt very trapped since my daughter was born but I can't find the courage to leave. things are comfortable, he's a great father and is supportive but I know things are not right. We haven't had sex in nearly 2 years! I want to move but I haven't had any luck getting a job and I sometimes feel that I wouldn't cope being a single mum. We are planning to get a house together (we rent at present). Part of me is drawn to the security, knowing my daughter will live in a nice area etc, have her dad around her who she loves but feel crazy for doing this.
I see a life of poverty and a small flat in a horrible area if I move away and it's important to give my daughter the best. (I would want to move back to my home area where my parents are based if we split)which would mean long distances to see her dad. I can't decide what to do and it's driving me crazy. What would you do??

I would try to be honest with myself and this man before things gets even more seriously wrong

Leave. Try to get into the mindset of 'wherever you lay your hat, that's your home'. Honestly, even a small flat in a not great area can be warm and welcoming and home, and most of all, you will feel free, and true to yourself. Ok, in an ideal world, you wouldn't sleep with, or get pregnant to, men you are not in love with, but it's not an ideal world. You wouldn't swap your dd for anything. But you don't need to subsume all your happiness to make her happy.

It wouldn't work with her dad anyway. Keeping all your real feelings bottled leads to illness, trust me, I know.

Dd will be happy if you are happy. Make the break. At least you know you will be happy on your own, and in a better place to meet someone you really do love. It's also only fair to your dp that he meets the same, he deserves to be happy too.

If you stay in this relationship it may turn poisonous sooner or later. How do you think your DP feels: does he love and desire you and hope that you will 'come round' to loving him the same way? Or is he, like you, trying to make a go of things as you are both good people and want to make a family for your DD? If it's the former answer, then the relationship will turn poisonous because you will both grow to resent each other.
If it's the latter then an amicable agreement to separate and be co-parents rather than a couple will probably work just fine.
But sooner or later, when a couple are not mutually in love, one or both is likely to fall for someone else, even if only as an exit strategy.