What's a fair challenge?

[mkslacker]

I got made redundant just before becoming pg (finally after many years of trying and some mc along the way). Have a beautiful, well behaved, happy 7mo, and I'm staying at home for a little while longer. I was the major breadwinner but with savings (and no silly city bonuses!) it means I can take a career break, all sounds great! Trying to keep the house clean and in order, and therefore me sane, just doesn't get through to DH. I do 95% of all the chores and I've always done all the household admin. I've tried to explain it as "the house is my office" nope. Yesterday he took his socks off in the kitchen and left them there. Tonight he came up with the line "I feed DS 16 times per week". I despair [confused}

I would have presented him with boiled socks for his next meal!

So, this is a "how do I make him appreciate what it's like for me?" thread?

Shall I sum up the advice your going to get on this thread to save you some time...

'Your husband's a twunt'

'You have no self-esteem if you let him treat you like that'

'Do you really want to be with a guy who treats you like that?'

'Divorce him'

I kid you not, look at previous threads! Atleast you didn't put it in AIBU!

Have been in this exact situation, so on a serious note...communication is everything, you need to talk to him one-to-one with no distractions and make it clear what you expect and how you want the future to look and then stick to it. If someone's doing it all for him what is his incentive to do it himself?

Put his socks in the bin.

Don't put his socks in the bin; that is just wrong. Put one of his socks in the bin.

But then as she is doing the chores, the odd socks will bother her.

I think just serve them with pasta, don't bother boiling them - it cleans them you see.

HollyBollyBooBoo, why do you speak of such advice as if it is a bad thing? Why should one have to share a house with someone who does less of everything except making a mess? Just asking as a general thing, not specific application to the OP - for all I know dirty socks may turn her on.

I do agree with your last paragraph though.

You need to start outsourcing some of your housework to cleaners and the like, so that your DH appreciates the monetary value of what you do...i.e. that you might not be paid, but your work still has a value, as does his.

Having cleaners round also forces the household to be tidier, so they can do their job properly.

Moreover, you won't be so resentful of any mess as you will sometimes be able to leave it for the cleaners to take care of. Whilst you take care of your gorgeous baby (a full-time job in itself).

Like the idea about the socks though

What Holly said. All of it.

He came home from work and after kissing me first and THEN DS, he said sorry. Thank you for the serious advice and the more, ahem, strong advice - respectively it was helpful and made me smile x