calling someone swear words is always wrong, right?

[hopefull55]

hi. just need to get a sanity check. dh calls me a b and a f b on a regular basis. not joking about, just says it. i dont swear at him. we may well have not been having a discussion, heated or not when he says it. he says its my fault he says it for being a nasty b*. I have had enough and asked him to leave. he has gone. we are on a trial separation. i am sure that i dont want him to come back unless he can stop calling me names as they upset me so much. i have to contain many many strong emotions after he has said something like that. he says he doesnt think he can stop. i dont want our ds to ever ever hear him calling me those names. i am also very upset after he has said something like that to me and cant be a nice cheerful mum to ds as trying not to cry. do people change and stop swearing if it has become a habit? if not, should i put up with it to keep the family together? things are often very good between us.

It's always very wrong.

You should not have to put up with this type of abuse and you have done the right thing in asking him to leave.

My DH has never sworn at me or called me awful names, not once in almost 30 years together.

That's absolutely disgusting.

Never mind trial separation, make it permanent. You are right, you really don't want your son to hear him call you those names.

Keep far, far away from him.

It is always wrong, and you've done the right thing telling him to leave. It's certainly not something you should put up with, no matter how good he may be in other respects. Can you imagine your son growing up with that kind of role model, and how he would eventually treat his future partners? If your dh really thinks he can't stop, he needs some professional help to do so, that is if he's serious about having a good relationship with you.

Make the trial separation a permanent one!

This is but the thin edge of the wedge.

It is always wrong. It shows a total lack of respect for you.

How would he feel if you called him a twat / bastard / etc in every argument? I bet he wouldn't like it.

He does not have the right to verbally abuse you.

I think you have done the right thing.

in answer to your thread title. No.

dh and i swear at each toher allt he time it is part of our everyday vernacular. however if i was doing anything which offended his sensibilites or made him uncomfortable in any way i would stop.

as would he.

so yes, this is an issue about respect. we all have different boundries with regards to everything, and if this upsets you, then someone who loved you - would stop

you are right and you have been very brave to stand your ground.
Really impressed

It's always wrong. Well done you for throwing him out. Know your boundaries and don't let him cross them. You are right about your DS hearing them too. He would learn from him.

The FACT he does NOT think he can stop swearing at you, is more of problem. How hard is it to not swear? unless he has got tourettes.
He sounds vile
Well done you

he says its my fault he says it for being a nasty b.

He blames you for making him swear at you? That says it all.

Horrible abusive vile thing to do. It is never ok.

You are right to think you are worth more than this and you are doing the right thing for your child because you do not want them growing up to think that is normal and abusing you in the same manner as soon as they can speak or using those words in school.

He cold stop if he wanted to - does he go around calling people he works with and his mates names like that. No of course he doesn't.

Well done you and stick to your guns.

He's an arsehole.

You are well shot of him.

Oh dear, my DH once called me a miserable c£$t in front of his uncle. His uncle actually walked in and apologised for him. He should really have called me stupid because unlike you I've tolerated it. Stick to your guns - don't brush it under the carpet x

Wow ladies. Thanks for the support. Really appreciate it. Feeling a lot stronger and going to stick at this. I know its awkward for him regarding finding somewhere else to live and so on, but i really dont want it in my life. Cheers!! xx

ps cookie26 - i hope things are good in other respects with your dp, and that if not you can give him the boot too.