My Babys Dad!

[sweetchecks]

Hey everyone :)

First time i have used this.

It was my babys birthday on Monday. Her dad didnt bother coming to see her or even buy her a preasent or card!

When she was first born he always used to give me £30 a week, then he lost his job, so i understood he couldnt pay for her if he wernt getting any income himself.

He now has a new job, but is still not paying for her. he hasnt payed for anything for about 6 months now.

I dont have him on the birth certificate, because when she born we never used to get on really, we get on now though :) there was alot of trouble through the pregnancy, threats of him taking her off me ect. so i never put him on the birth certificate but that was to settle my mind more than anything. :)

Anyway, the point in this thread is, can i still go to a third party with out him being on the Birth certifate?

He also keeps letting her down, he is ment to see her every Saturday for the night. The last 4 weeks he hasnt botherd coming to pick her up because he has been out the night before or that night drinking.

TBH i dont know what to do. i dont want to fall out with him all over again because it will be my little girl suffering, but i also dont want him thinking he can pick her up an drop her when ever he feels like.

I think, lovely, that you need to go via the CSA for maintenance. He doesn't have to actually be on the birth certificate for you to do this. He can't just take her off you either. He sounds very young and immature and irresponsible. All you can do with regard to contact is be the constant in her life, don't tell her when he's coming and it sounds like he'll just fade out of her life for a while. Maybe when he grows up a little more he'll be more interested. x

You can still go to the CSA, he may admit to them that he is her father if not I think further things can be done. Hopefully someone will come along that knows more than me.

If he's working again then he should be paying money towards her. I don't see any option but to go to the CSA. (Presuming you have asked him about paying maintenance again anyway?)
It could take quite a while to get things sorted though.

As for access it may be worth trying to get something formalised. I've been through the same with my ex and it's not good for your dd, especially as she gets older. If you're not working then I think you can apply for legal aid. The first visit should be free anyway just to find out where you stand.

Hope you get things sorted.

Oh and my ex never gave my dd's a Christmas present or my eldest dd a birthday present either. Your dd will realise soon enough who is looking after her.

the visitor he is very immature and irresponsible to be honest, he used to be on drugs and used to be in the wrong crowd an walked out of her life for 6 months aswell.

i am going to go the CSA as he cant expect me to bring her up by my self.

I am also not going to tell my baby when her "daddy" is ment to be turning up. I will just make sure i am in for when he turn's up.

TheGrumpalo He knows he is the father, he has never questioned that, and TBH he couldnt really deny her lol she is the double of him (poor child) :P

I have asked him loads to help me out with silly things like nappies, wipes ect. He always say's he will but never does.

My baby will always knows who is there for her, and one day she will relise what he is doing to her and wont want to know him. But i also dont want to have to go threw that.