My son's Dad's new girlfriend

[Nichua0885]

Hi, My son is 4 years old me and his dad seperated when he was a feew weeks old, we then got back together when he was 2, this only lasted a few months.

We havenow been seperated for nearly 2 years. He has a new girlfriend he has been with her for just over 4 months now. I have met her twice when I have picked my son up from his dads. I get on really well with my sons dad and his family(he lives with his parents) I normally stay and have a cup of tea and a chat with his family and him.

The first tim I met his girlfriend I said hello and she just grunted, she didn't even look in my direction. I thought this was really rude but just dismissed it as nerves. I have since met her once more and she left 2 rooms in the house when i entered them and didn't respond when i said hello. then when i was leaving i saw her peering around the door looking at me my sons dad leaving. so i said bye and waved just to have her mubble / grunt bye at me.

I want to know why she is being so hostile towards me?? I did not know her before she starting seeing my sons dad and i was split up from him for a year and a half before they got together.

I have a close relationship with my sons dad and his family and his is because I like and respect them, I have known them for 9 years and I want my son to have a close relationship with them also. I will not stop talking to them or stopping for a cup of tea because of his new girlfriend. Am I right to fell as though she is being hostile???

Someone please help I feel as though I am going mad!!!

She is probably jealous, just carry on as normal and continue to be polite to her

Agree, jealous, insecure and ill educated by the sounds of it. Smile and ott lovely, will either wear her down or annoy her further, but keeps you right.

Yes, she probably hasn't got very much about her and sees you as a threat. She probably fears that as you have a child with your ex you could waltz back there in any time you chose. If she is threatened by you and your DS's existence she shouldn't have got involved in the first place. You just carry on being your lovely yourself.

You're a massive threat in her eyes. DS1's father married someone similar. It's lovely now they're divorced and we're allowed to be really good friends again.

I had to smile when i read this, my DP has a son with his ex, they split up 5 years ago an she has a daughter with her new partner, i try to be nice an chat to her when we meet, which is every sunday as we go to watch their son play football, she always says hello then oh sorry i've forgotten your name, which i wouldnt mind but me and DP have been together over a year now and their son stays in my house every weekend.

Thank you all I am so glad that it is not just me reading too much into it!!

I don't see why I should suddenly act differently because she is on the scene now. I will act as I always have, she will just have to get used to it.

Thank you all for your comments.

First time I met my Mil to be, dh's ex wife was sat on her sofa rolling fags. Had a bobbly jumper and leggings on, plastic shoes and a croyden facelift I was dressed up for court, where she was dragging us on a basis of lies (judge threatened to jail her)

She grunted. I smiled sweetly and asked how she was then left to sit in the kitchen with mil. I then discovered she was living there, with mil So, she was taking dh, mil's son, to court for money she already had been given, and Mil gave her house room. I thought maybe it was to put a roof over ss head, but no, he was staying with her parents.

I knew then I was in for a high old time.

If you have a great relationship with the inlaws and ex, don't take any notice of her. She will show herself up eventually.

Kill her with kindness!

At least you see her. When I pick my daughter up my ex's partner is always absent. Sometimes I think she's hiding upstairs.

I haven't met her but have spoke to her on the phone but when I try to pin my ex down to sort out meeting her properly (they live together and have a baby and DD stays there o/n 3 days)he's very evasive. My curiosity is now very piqued.

Nichua, she might just feels a bit awkward - perhaps she finds it odd that two people who used to be together can get on so well. Maybe the relationships she's been in previously the exes have been a nightmare. Some people think it's odd that me an exP get on so well they wonder why we split up in the first place - so maybe she feels a bit threatened. Or perhaps she's just shy. My nephews gf just grunts at us all when she says hello. She's been with him 6 years.

Just carry on as normal. You've only met her a couple of times I'm sure things will improve.

Vix: "she always says hello then oh sorry i've forgotten your name"

:o I would be so tempted to give a different name every time, how do you contain yourself!

Ooh, yes, go for it! This week you are Vivienne, next week Ava, then Georgia......

Another one in the jealous camp here. Silly too and infantile are words that jump to mind.

I would simply carry on doing what ive always done as im sure you are going to.

It IS your sons welfare thats paramount.

AND who is to say that this girl will be around in another 4 months. If she tries to upturn the applecart then perhaps sons father will kick to the kerb.