Hi, if what follows helps just one person then it will be worthwhie
My wife and I are both on our second marriage and were always very loving and caring towards each other, both totally trusting of each other and we did everything together.
We were blessed with a wonderful little boy in August 2007, our first child and very much planned and wanted.
The first eighteen months were fantastic but then things started to go badly wrong. I lost my job very unexpectedly which put enormous financial pressure on us, I kept most of this stress from my wife but it made me very tetchy. My wife started to erode the total trust and respect I had for her, whikst she never engaged in a physical relationship with anyone else she behaved very stupidly and told constant lies about what she was getting up to.
Our relationship became very rocky but through it all we continued to give what we thought was our total attention to our son - we went down the old route of believing "if we keep our arguments to when he is asleep it won't affect him" - looking back I now realise what a stupid belief that was.
Our son has never ever been neglected or hit, he has always been encouraged to learn and to most people he was considered incredibly well behaved and very bright. There were however slight behavioural problems at nursery - pushing other children, biting, pinching etc that we could not seem to eradicate.
Overthe last three months my wife and I have really started to rebuild our marriage - its hard work and there are still disagreements buts its a hundred times more relaxed and enjoyable environment in which to live.
Surprise, surprise - since things have beco9me happier at home our son has blossomed, now top of his group at nursery, no bad behaviour in any way shape or form.
What I'm trying to say is this - if you have marriage / relationship issues don't think that by not arguing in front of your children that they will not be affected - they will be affected. I am ashamed of the impact our behaviour had on our son but proud of the way in which we are now working really well as a little family.