Help from people on Stately Homes Thread

[Idontbelieveanymore]

I cannot believe how alone I feel. I hate what my parents did to me, cannot come to terms the fact that brothers have not made any contact with me to find out why I wrote to tell my parents I did not want contact. How can they just accept it and not ask me if I am ok or to ask what happened? They have forgotten me and it hurts so bad because I did not deserve what happened. They never asked if I am ok. I live miles away from home with my husband and I am all alone. No one at all. If it were not for my children I would have killed myself by now. I have tried to be brave all over christmas, knowing no family would contact me. But now it has hit me. There will never be any thoughts of me again.

Have things been getting worse recently, or have you always felt like this? You do sound depressed, you know. I don't know your feelings on ADs, but talking therapy has really helped me. If you're finding that others aren't listening, or you're not brave enough to make them listen, talking to someone who is paid to listen can be incredible. And it really would be worth trying the GP, you might find that you are offered some counselling on the NHS.

Oh God sorry, forgot I had changed names back. Was AANC.

Oh I have name changed too and keep checking to make sure! I have always had phases like this, I just eat and sleep in the evenings, cry and then sleep again. But I have always been lucky enough that after a month or so I come out of it for a bit so I guess I am just waiting for that to happen again. Argh I was so stupid and tried to cut myself last night (nothing at all serious) which I havent done for 6 years. Now I feel embarrassed saying it so am a bit worried that I am worse this time round. I am waiting to see if my husband gets his new job and if so I can afford some councilling. I cannot speak to a gp - the words do not come out

I'm another one, I know what you mean. I will post but will probably not come back I'm afraid - I find it too overwhelming.

Two things though, intrusive thoughts and nightmares can be symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder. I have been diagnosed and treated for this and am now 'OK', whatever that is. If you can't talk to your GP, write it down and give it to them.

The second thing that has helped me is that I believe that the reason they don't believe me is because the truth that the abuse was real is too threatening to their view of the world. It is easier to scapegoat someone because then they are OK and it's you with the problem. Not sure if that makes sense, but it helps me get my head around it.

It does make perfect sense - I am so sorry for you and being overwhelmed. You are so kind to post when it is so painful.

OP - just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. My mantra is - "It's NOT me - my parents really are fucked up fuckers!"

This link might help you.

www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/

Don't want to post much else as I'm going through a phase of not thinking too deeply about my parents and I'm enjoying it. But thinking of you.

Could you write it down and give a note to the GP?

I told my HV and she write it down for me and we both signed thyen i made the doctors appointment and the HV asked my Husband to go along with me and i just handed the note to the doctor who read it out so DH know what it said and then he made an appointment with the MH team and give me sleeping tablets and AD's.

I cried for hours after i got home, i felt so stupid for not going sooner and getting help sooner