Is it just a bloke thing

[walkinZombie]

Hi

Me and My bf been together a while have one DC
was out together with mates the other night and something bugged me,

he seemed to be making constant sexual innuedo's (jokey ones) with my mates, always poking, tapping them etc, like a school boy. The green eyed monster reared its head for the first time. i don't compare to my mates, i'm overweight and pretty ugly and my mates are all stunners. he wasn't being distant with me so dno if im being OTT, but it bothered my in the sense that, if he does that when im there what is he like when im not.

Is it innappropriate or a blokey thing?
some male views may help too, if any are on here lol

xoxox

No! (haven't read OP)

if your partner is being a twat, that's on him.

Plenty of men are not twats.

Spidookily is completely right! He's out of order flirting with your mates in a non jokey way and it is rightly making you upset. He's being knob. Plenty of men are not knobs, this one however, is.

Tell him they all think he's a creep

Is he 16?

Although, even if he is, he's an arswit.

No, it's not a bloke thing. Unfortunately, it's a your bloke thing.

No it's a wanky bloke thing

Nice blokes don't do it

Lol thanks for replies

its not like a bum grabbing, nice tits love sorta way. Its more making a joke so I find it hard ton say anything incase i'm made to look psycho.

e.g. was joint birthday , me and another girl so he says , 'Oh do i get both the birthday girls then, ' winking .

If he thinks that is a normal thing to do then he needs reality check

how did your mates reacted to it?

thanks for replies

Don't say anything, take it as a joke i think

No matter what you think of your body image compared with other girls, he's with you and your DC. That's what counts.

And yes, it is a bloke thing to not understand when their behaviour is a bit off.

not all blokes act like juvenile fuckwits

all the ones I spend my time with don't

if they do, I don't spend time with them

In your shoes I wouldn't have been jealous OF my more attractive friends that he was dribbling on them so obviously. I'd have been embarrassed at his transparent behaviour.

So, yawn, he finds them attractive. Is he totally incapable of hiding this?! Does he think he's in with a chance? does he not mind humiliating you and making them cringe with awkwardness.

I'd have said "only if I get her man, he's MUCH better than you" (wiggling my pinkie meaningfully).

But then, I'm a bitch, so maybe not.....

Tell him how you feel! He's embarrassing you and that's not fair! They are your friends so he should be controlling himself. I think valium hit the nail on the head there....

He sounds like a creepy saddo.

thanks for replies, Valium , it is his behaviour I find embarassing, and the fear of what would he do if I wasn't here is a big factor.

I'm gonna have some words

Def not an all-encompassing bloke thing and, aside from being disrespectful, he sounds a bit cringe-worthy and Alan Partridge-like judging by his birthday-girl comment and accompanying wink.

Hey walkin...the thing that struck me most about your post was the description of yourself. Overweight is one thing...you can change that. The view that you are pretty ugly is disturbing. You don't see yourself in animated party mode, you don't see your cool personality shining through. All we ever see in the mirror is a 2-d image which nobody actually ever sees.

I have a huge nose, crap hair, flat chest, pasty skin. But when I scrub up I look in teh mirror and think "yeah not bad." I know I make people laugh...they like hanging out with me. Why? ARe they sorry for me? Are they f**k. I am just fun. Just imagine an utterly gorgeous babe, perfect figure, with no brain, a miserable disposition, a spiteful person. Do you want to be her? No? Never use that word...whoever made you feel that way needs to be expelled from your life. And if it is your BF, ditch right now.

You have friends and family who love you for a reason. Never let another person make you feel bad about yourself (I have been guilty of this myself, but my new mantra really works). If they need to make you feel bad, it is their insecurities (just like bullies).

And ps..that is out of order of your BF to say that in front of you. Disrespectful. I am a born-again not to be disrespected person and it feels good, but takes a while.

Won't your mates think he's a bit of a creep?

Listen to fizzfiend she speaks sense.

Bloke's perspective - As a generalisation, we have the propensity to be insensitive. I certainly am on occasion. I guess the difference between relationships is how our partners communicate this to us and whether we then take it on board and change our behaviours.

My Mrs will tell me straight if I've been out of line without being accusatory and I like to think that I change.

Do you tell him what you think and does he take it on board and change?

FWIW, I think it's inappropriate but I don't know what the level of banter between you is like. If there's a lot both ways (unlikely from your post suggests) then he could be just continuing a theme. Otherwsie he has clearly stepped out of line and needs to be told so in a level headed & calm way. If he doesn't respect that, then clearly there's a problem.

HTH

Thanks everyone,

BUMP I know this is old
anyhoo re. OP
I confronted OH in an argument last night about the behaviour. was told OH swears on [dcs] life there are no pervy intentions.

so I will have to see if it improves,

sorry old stuff just wanted to close it lol