Advice please...

[dee1981]

I am 14 weeks pregnant and the father has now decided that he doesn't want anything to do with the baby. He has said this to me twice before and after the third time I have decided to end the relationship between us. I have told him that he can have access to the child and see it when he wants and his response was "You are having an abortion, if you chose not to, I ma having nothing to do with the child. I've spoken to the CSA and won't be liable for any payments to you as I have filed against you".
Is this possible? I have spoken to a friend who knows about the law and has said he cannot file against a child that hasn't been born and if he was to go to court (as he said he is, tomorrow apparently) that I would have to be notified.

I've also recently found out that I am not eligable for SMP, so have looked into a maternity allowance. It all seems to be falling apart and I am only three and a half months!

I wouldn't lie about having a baby

that is just too momentous of a lie

it's not ideal he is the kid's father, but that is the truth here

the problem with hiding he birh is, it will come out one day and your child may hate you for keeping him/her from it's father

never tell a whopper as big as this and risk that

it's just too Jeremey-Kyle

the birth

I see you sorted that t problem AF

no, I didn't

I just have to hit the t key with a fucking mallet

oops, you were being ironic

a tad, yes!

and i think I would agree. I am not really in a position to say if keeping a baby a secret from a dead beat fuckwit like this one is a good idea....but secrets can have a nasty habit of coming back to bite you.

Go to the CAB dee they will confirm everything and everything these wonderful ladies have told you.

If he chooses not to go to the register office with you to register the birth you are unable to put his name on the birth certificate unless you are married.

That doesn't exempt him from CSA payments I don't think. If he chooses to fight it, he'd have to pay to get a DNA test wouldn't he.

You have done the right thing dee this guy is a total write-off.

There is no such thing as a £800 whole of life restraining order.... and even if there were he would STILL be financially liable to pay child support.

Get advice, put it all in place to screw this ass to the wall. I can't think I've ever seen a guy that deserves it more.

Stay calm with him, come rant with us, you are doing so well dee! Well done!

If there was such a thing as a £800 whole of life restraing order...I'd be tempted to take it out on him

Having been in a similar position and having taken the morally correct path I would without hesitation keep the baby a secret if I could go back and do it differently.

But I appreciate it's hard to know these things without hindsight.

There are some people that a child will be damaged by if they are allowed to be part of the child's life, or its mother's life.

You have to make that call, OP - none of us knows this man.

It depends on the sort and amount of fuckwittery you think he is capable of in the future once the child is in the middle.