I have been going out with my bf for 5 years. when i was away once i got drunk and had sex with someone else. I don't remember much about the night except that i remember saying I didn't want to. It was the biggest regret of my life and i wish it never happened. A few months later i discovered i was pregnant. Not wanting to tell my bf i kept the fact i had cheated a secret. So i pretended to be a happy family i gave birth to my child and was convinced it was my bf's. Although i have thought about the lie every day and torture myself with it. 2 years later i had a second child by my bf. I found out a few weeks later the person i cheated with had died. Soon after i started getting depressed due to the fact i had kept this secret for so long and felt so guilty and bad about it. He started noticing there was something wrong so in the end i caved and told him the secret. He is so upset and wants a paternity test, not sure if we can stay together if he can get his head around it. i know its all my fault and i should have told him before my child was born. advice?