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Original poster

Is it possible to get the intimacy back?

5 replies

lastresort · 18/01/2011 22:53

After 10 years and 3 DCs DH and I seem to lost the intimacy, ie saying I love you, having a hug or a kis, making love ( not just having sex).

Can you get it back and how when there feels like an invisible wall between you both?

OP posts:
FunnysInTheGarden · 18/01/2011 22:57

you need some time on your own. We have two small children and sometimes it feels all very functional. We recently had a weekend away without the DC, and it was back to how it always used to be, fab sex and all Blush
We have been together nearly 23 years and although it seems mundane most of the time, when we have time to be ourselves, it is like we are 21 and 17 again Grin

Don't give up hope, children take it right out of you!

ItsGraceAgain · 18/01/2011 23:09

I've been dissed for saying this before, but here goes. Think back to how you act when you're falling in love. Extended eye contact, hundreds of little touches, feeding back each others' conversation, being interested in things the other cares about.

How does that match with your life together now? Think about the tiny things you loved & noticed about him - the way his eyes smile, the shape of his wrists, whatever your things were about him. Have another look. How have they altered over the years? A few more smiley lines around the eyes, maybe those wrists are stronger now, and more capable? You get the picture.

Some of this (a lot of it, actually) you can bring back amongst the havoc of family life. Some more of it needs grown-up time, when you may both banish all thoughts of kids & sports equipment to another universe. Short breaks are good for that, as is sending all the DCs away for sleepovers (you can even arrange a rota with other stressed-out parents.)

Go on ... tell us some of his loveable features :)

FunnysInTheGarden · 18/01/2011 23:13

Grace that is so sweet and so true. No dissing here Grin

Original poster
lastresort · 18/01/2011 23:24

loveable features...erm...can't remember actually. Honestly, when I look at what we've both become it makes me cringe. We are like a brother and sister who get on okay, but have snipes at each other occasionally.

OP posts:
Original poster
lastresort · 18/01/2011 23:26

I mean, when I goed tonight he will be watching TV. He will hand me the remote, take his glasses off and roll over and go to sleep.
That's it.

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