How best to behave around ex OW.

[Roisinniamh]

Almost 17 months on from discovering DH's affair. I am recovering well (considering!).However, I would like to hear of peoples' experiences in situations where the ex OW is present.I have posted before. My DH and his ex OW work for the same company (he has no contact, obviously!) and we are sometimes at the same social events which I find difficult .We ignore/avoid her.
Any advice or comments please.

be sooooooo nice - nothing more irritating, and if you have children you will need to keep things civil

I think that as you (understandably) find these events difficult, you and your husband should avoid them if it at all possible.

If your attendance is necessary, I dont think there is anything you can do apart from ignore her, and of course make sure you look gorgeous :)

no experience but I would avoid contact completely. Why should you put yourself through that?

can't DH get another job? (I realise this may not be simple to do)

dress to the nines and be very nice,or try to be,nothing beats that,its really not for her but for yourself..

You are right Ditzy,ignoring is what I do and the desie to laugh in her face is strong, she is such a hideous clown,laughing and talking loudly to show what 'fun' she is having!

Now and again throw her a look and laugh- she'll hate it
Or...for the mature woman in you...ignore her. She doesn't deserve your discomfort. If you literally bump into her, be polite but cool.

I've never been introduced to her, only became aware of her existance on discovery of the affair.So it's easy to ignore her (only one of DH's colleagues knows about it)Just hope nobody ever tries to introduce us, I'll have to be 'polite but cool' then.
Thanks all.

Ros, that is hideous. I only hope that dh is shamefaced at the situation he has put you in.

I'm impressed by your dignity and maturity.

You're all far better, more mature, reasonable people than me. If my DP ever had an OW and I found out and met her, I'd rip her f*cking head off.

would you rip your DP's head off at all, HB ?

or something worse ? < quakes >

Oh yes, once her head was off I'd bury her wherever I left him. Or wherever I left some of the bits of him, I can't promise I'd find them all.

is such a hideous clown,laughing and talking loudly to show what 'fun' she is having!

You should see it as a compliment of sorts. She is completely aware that you won and is trying to make you notice her. Ignoring is the best option of all.

Ignore her, the more noise she makes totally ignore her, look through her if you have to, as if she is not there.

It'll drive her literally batshit...

She is clearly insecure and very scared of you. Well done for rising above it.

Thank you all for your supportive messages.
I do ignore her as I read somewhere that it's the highest insult.And we do try to avoid situations where she may be.