Need strength (kick up arse) to

[WaterLikeAStone]

collect a copy of The Dominator.

Rang number my counsellor gave me to sign up for the Freedom programme. Very kind lady suggested i collect a copy of this book. Thing is I'm now frozen - can't face acknowledging the emotional abuse I've put up with for years (20+).
Am afraid of being recognised as the address is just down the road from where I live. From the outside people probably think we're a happy couple - always holding hands.

Comments about controlling partners from the 'whisking off feet' thread have really hit home. Don't know why i'm posting as any advice will be ignored as i'm just too scared
Perhaps if anyone has any experience of the Freedom programme it might be a start in the right direction for me.
Not a troll, just a middle-aged lonely woman with hardly any rl friends.

Hi

Sorry I don't know anything about the Freedom programme. I'm posting because I feel for you and feel you need lots of support.

Got a feeling you need to face up to unpleasant things, and find the self worth which is required for you to move on in your life...

Lots of support from me too! You will feel better when you do something for yourself - I think the reluctance you feel is to do with stepping out of a "safe" albeit damaging relationship because you are scared of what might happen.

It might be good! You can always put on a wig and glasses for the first few weeks ;)

I haven't used the Freedom Programme but I've been there in the "it's not so bad" and "no-one else will want me at my age" camp and I can only say: do it. You will be glad you did.

What you are about to do is fetch a book. No more, no less. Just a book. Reading it does not commit you to anything. You're just going to read up about stuff, right? Like going to the library and reading about exploring the outer Andes, you don't have to do anything about it if you don't want to. And for all anyone knows, if they do recognise you, you might be picking it up for someone else. Just collect it, smile, go home, read it and make your own mind up.

You have nothing to be ashamed about.

Pretend you are researching for a novel you are writing. We all read books for all sorts of reasons. I think this might be a very important first step for you and hold your head up high and DON'T WORRY about anyone else and what they think.

(Mantra, I am a Novelist, I am a Novelist.....)

...or say you're collecting the book for a friend in a troubled relationship.

That's if it comes up which it won't.

You'll be fine and as Anniegetyourgun said you have nothing to be ashamed about.

Rooting for you!

Well - I've only just gone and got the book!!

Your last sentence WherecanIhide did the trick - I've got to face up to unpleasant things.

I'm now down to go to a meeting on Thursday! My counsellor will not believe it.

Thanks everyone for the support - I've just taught myself to be such a wuss over the years!

Yay! A cheesy thumbs up emoticon from me!

Well done, and i hope you are already feeling better about yourself and the road ahead....