Anyone elses extenfded family drifted apart over the years?

[poshsinglemum]

When I was a child I was really close to my aunties, uncles and cousins on both my mum and dad side. I felt that my parents got on with their siblings.
As we have grown up my parents have fallen out with their siblings it would appear and i hardly speak to my cousins (we get on but life has happened). I find it sad. I think thnere is sibling rivalry going on with my parents and their siblings which is a contributing factor.They compare children a lot.

has this happened in your family?

extended

I haven't had any contact with my family for 5 yearas. I was very close to my Auntie and i miss her like crazy. But she is loyal to my Mother and i we kind of drifted before that.....

You are not alone in feeling this.

I have 3 cousins (2 from my dad's brother and 1 from my mum's brother) that I can't remember ever seeing. They are in their late 30's and early 40's now. They live within 3 miles of my parents.

I've not seen my uncle since my aunty died at a young age 14 years ago.

It doesn't bother me and I never give it a moments thought tbh.

Yes, very much so. My mum was one of 9 and there would be loads of absolutely brilliant family parties every year. There was a falling out between 2 of Mum's brothers (everyone else was incredibly careful not to take sides), but mainly I think all of the 9 siblings have just become more centred on their own families, kids and grandkids over the years. And maybe as more cousins have married and had kids, nobody has a house big enough for everyone any more!

I only really keep in contact with 2 of my cousins, and 2 of my aunties. My mum was one of 6 but along the way they've drifted apart/fallen out. I've also moved 150 miles away so it's not like I ever bump into them either.

I'm not hugely bothered really, I keep in touch with the ones I want to, I have friends who are move like family now.

Yes mine have and it does bother me. I envy people who have big family gatherings every year... My mum and aunty don't speak so if I want contact with my aunt and my cousin I meet with them separately and my mum gets the hump with me.

People do get busier tho. I think it would probably bother you/me less if it were just circumstances and not due to friction would u agree?

Yep mine have too. I too envy those who have big family gatherings each year. I have a very big family and we used to get together evey week at my nan's house. I loved it as a child and was very close to all my cousins and aunts and uncles.

Now we only get together at weddings and funerals :( Its not the same as we hardly know eachother now.

I have lots of extended family that I haven't seen for years. Our lives all went in different directions as we grew up. Even worse the same thing is now happening to me and my siblings. Its heartbreaking as we were so close ten years ago.

I have two cousins who I last saw at my Nan's funeral about 7 years ago, although we are still friends via the dreaded Facebook It's a shame we don't see more of each other because we have loads of random quirky things in common!

I have an auntie & uncle on my Mum's side who I haven't seen for over five years because they said some pretty horrible things about Dh when we got married. It's quite sad because we used to spend lots of time together when I was a child & now it's like we are strangers to each other. There's no way back though, the things they said were truly vile & even if I ever split up with Dh I wouldn't want the DDs to come into contact with those type of views.

Just want to add, I think if people live far apart someone needs to take it upon themselves to organise big get-togethers. My Nan used to do this & have about 50 people meet up for a picnic or barbeque. She's too old to do that anymore & we don't really see each other anymore :(

We are geographically spread out so I don't see dad and sibs that often, and cousins and aunts only at large weddings and funerals, or if I am in area and ask if I can visit.
It doesn't bother me as my parents rarely saw their cousins and I see this as part of modern life and have plenty of friends, plus I don't have much in common with my cousins.
I doubt your parents relationship with their sibs is relevent as you and your cousins are adults and could arrange to meet up if you could be bothered.
Most people I know were close to their cousins as children but grew apart as they got older and had their own families and developed more distinct personalities, and stopped being dragged rellie visiting by their parents.

Well my sister and our cousin fell out when my mum and hers sister fell out. Loyalties were divided. My mum accused my auntie of having an affair with my dad. (mum is a drama queen) My cousin quite rightly was fuming.

I see plenty of my siblings which is nice but aunts and uncles are now either dead or too frail to travel far. One aunt lives in Florida (Key West)and I last saw her in 1973!