i am so mad i could spit but am i unreasonable with this, what do you think?

[Donbean]

Im mad with my stupid stupid sister.
She is trying for another baby with a bloke she hardly knows who may or may not be the father of her 2 year old, who she dumped with my mother for 5 months because she couldnt cope with her while she pissed off back abroad to be with this dick head of a boyfriend......then casually anounces in her last email..."we have been trying for a baby for 2 months now".
Got another email from her this morning to say "hello, are you not speaking to me?"
The truth is i am so mad with her that i cant reply to her because i am just so mad....

What would you think/do?

Let her get on with it - how can you stop her? Let her know what you think once and just be there to help deal with the fallout.

Get too involved and you will be sucked in....

Message withdrawn

I would think, that if I didn't know you, that you were a troll.

It is totally irresposible IMO and I don't blame you for being angry.

Only you can decide if your relationship would endure you telling her the truth.

I know what I would do.

I'd be mad too, and worried for her, but there's nothing you can do apart from be there for her when it all comes crashing down around her ears.

Try not to get too involved or too hurt by it - it's her own life she's screwing up.

She is 29 and has ALWAYS ALWAYS without fail made bad bad choices.
I have made a point of never saying any thing negative to her. to be supportive and a help to her.
Why can she not see sense?
She cannot cope with her dd why do this?
I cannot be supportive with this as it is fundamentaly and absolutely wrong wrong wrong.

I don't see the harm in emailing back saying you are dumfounded at her trying for a baby and feel it to be irresponsible. I take it you are older sis?

troll! ive never been called a troll before!
I know, we should be on Trisha or Jerry Springer me and my lot shouldnt we!

I am the eldest yes.
My stomach is in nots whenever i think about it, i could cheerfully slap her.

DB

Hope I didn't offend you.

NEVER! course not, you could never offend me! !!!

So, a polite email just saying that i think that she should think very very carefully about this.....how do i word it without sounding judgemental and snotty?????

Message withdrawn

ive just started to write to her, but im so angry. What shall i do,

Maybe wait untill you calm then. Silence speaks volumes too dosen't it?

Agree with Floss. Leave it a couple of days in the hope that you have calmed down somewhat, than yo
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write a .3more023 reasoned

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She emailed me about a week ago and im still seathing.
Silence does speak volumes yes. Think i will leave it and speak to dh tonight. Although he will say "dont get involved", i know it!
Thanks every one, my family gets worse and worse.

ds4 helped me with that last post!

Actually WigWamBam, it isn't just her life she's screwing up. She's screwing up the lives of a two year old child, her mother, possibly this guy (altho' that's his look-out) and, if she conceives, then the life of another baby.

Then the other relatives around her, who will be involved with the fall-out later.

Personally I'd want to tell her she's totally selfish, utterly off her rocker, and that I wanted to have no more to do with her. But, as that action would severly affect my mother, I'd probably just not respond for the time being, and only tell her what I thought if she asked me face-to-face.

Yes, all that easy with a few "f's" thrown in there because she is !
Not only her 2 year old but we end up looking after the little dot and she wanders around after me calling me "mummy", the kid doesnt know her arse from her elbow.
I came very close to taking her dd to live with us, doing up the spare room and having her move in with us i felt so strongly about the disruption caused to her little life.
Im not bothered about my mother (a whole other story) and i would say thet i would have nothing else to do with her but i need to be available for her dd, i need to be.
I want to absolutely let fuc*ing rip with her and go bazerk, telling her more than a few home truths but i wouldnt like it if she did that to me.

I feel you need to give her honest answers and not just support which inhibits how you feel. You don´t have to come down like a ton of bricks and are fully allowed to have your concerns - perhaps it will encourage her to prove you wrong so to speak.

how about something along the lines of...

you have not heard from me cos I am having trouble getting my head around the fact that you are trying to conceive. ... or POShFloss post ...I am dumfounded!

I don´t wish to be negative to your decision and just hope you are ready to offer a stable environment for a baby and your daughter. It is your life and I am here for you, you know that, but that does not mean I will always agree.

That is very similar to the email i have just writted pappilon, thanks.
Ive not sent it yet though.dont know if i will.

I would email her saying

how nice, congratulations, guess this means mum will be getting the cot out of the loft.

But then, I'm a bitch.

Ha MTPW! good one! like it!
She probably wouldnt get it even if i tried sarcasm with her.

Because im laughing out loud, does that make me a bitch too

yes it does, but you are in good company!

How have you been anyway - I noticed I hadnt seen you on threads for a bit - even did a Donbean shout thread!!

Ill have you know ive been here interfering in every thread that i possibly can!
Why did you do a shout out thread, what was i up to?