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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you get over an affair

19 replies

anon1968 · 16/01/2011 10:57

That's it basically. How do you ever stop wondering whether He is thinking about her or if he is out how do you stop wondering whether he is with her, also how do I stop torturing myself over the things I know they have done together.

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anon1968 · 16/01/2011 11:23

bump

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bairn24 · 16/01/2011 11:25

Big hug. I know how you feel. All I can say is that over time it does start to get easier. Everyone's different, I am sure you will get lots of great advice on here and hopefully you will find an effective strategy to help you through this.
My own strategy was to drink too much, throw lots of stuff and cry so I wouldn't suggest you use my way!!
Am over a year down the line and the trust does start to come back so long as your partner earns it. As for the evil thoughts that keep popping up in your head, I have an imaginary box for them.
Stay strong xx

atswimtwolengths · 16/01/2011 11:53

I didn't get over it, ever. I did, though, spend a lot of time with him afterwards, torturing myself. Once we split up, I got over it.

cheguevara · 16/01/2011 11:54

I don't think you ever get over it, but you learn to live with it. You will be a different person to the one you were before you found out when you were totally trusting and believing. The imaginary stuff does diminish eventually, but it makes you very very mad to begin with. Bairn's idea is a good one. Gently put the thoughts away, it is all coming from your head.

I think perhaps there is a 6 month period of Post Traumatic Stress, then a 6 month period of anger and grief, then a year of letting the dandelion seeds settle. I am just at the end of that and am determined that when I get to 2 years post discovery that I am not going to let it grip me any more. I have to let it all go. Even though he still hasn't been as open and honest and reflective as I wish him to be for his and my sake, I can't go on being a damaged human being any more. If someone had said it'll take 2 yrs to feel better I would have been so depressed, but it's not all bad stuff. There was alot of discovering about myself, about him, about friendships, relationships, honesty, that has been really cathartic and a release. It is an opportunity for change. I hope your partner is sorry, supportive, honest and understanding. That would speed up the process greatly.

anon1968 · 16/01/2011 12:38

Hi

Thanks for your replies, it is only six wks since i found out and it had been going on for 6 months before that. Some days he is supportive and says he wants to stay and work it out and others he says he doesnt know if its what he wants, and that he deserves to be happy, i know things had got stale but thought/hoped now that our child is older we could get it back.

How do i stop torturing myself by asking all the gory details, sometimes i think its better to know but then when he does tell me things i wish i hadnt. Funnily enough i seem to be able to seperate the sex from the emotional aspect of it.

All this has made me a nervous wreck, We had been having a bad year and it's taken its toll, I want to be strong again.

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minginjean · 16/01/2011 12:49

I'm two years on this month from it and I can honestly say I even makes joke about it now. I know mine might be a different situation, they didn't sleep together, think it ended before things went to far, but either way it's the loss of trust and the fact that someone who is supposed to love you can do that to you.

I got some advice on here when it first happened, one girl told me to write a list of exactly how I felt, humiliated, frightened that this big man who was to take care of us, could hurt us so much etc etc and print out some lists about seperation and divorce courts and then put them under your pillow. He'll eventually find it and hopefully will feel like shit afterwards. Mine did, he burst into tears and begged me not to leave him. I think sometimes a couple may not reveal they're true feelings to each other which doesn't help. Does he know exactly how devastated you are? Do you really think he's sorry.

I know how sorry my husband was and therefore it was easier to forgive and forget, that's the first big step.

anon1968 · 16/01/2011 13:00

Hi. Sometimes I really believe he is sorry, other times not so much. He knows how much I am hurting and I genuinely think he is sorry for that. I am extremely anxious and this is not helping at all, I cant relax and question him all the time, even thru the night sometimes which I know is unreasonable. If I carry on like this I will drive him away. Sometimes he says hevwants to work things out , others he says we have been in a rut for a while, which I agree with, but I just thought life was like this when u have been together for a while(15yrs). I am so confused.

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anon1968 · 16/01/2011 13:03

Sorry should have said when he says we have been in a rut, he worries we can't get it back and wonders whether she cud be his chance to be happy again

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bairn24 · 16/01/2011 13:14

Sounds like the affair may be a symptom of the problems in your relationship rather than the cause (not excusing it in any way).
That was certainly the case with us - the relationship was stale, cold and unhappy and DH ended up having an EA with a colleague.

It sounds like you are wanting to work through this but your hubby is not so sure.
Have you considered counselling?

Try and concentrate on your own feelings and think about what you really want from your life and from your relationship. As cheguevara says you have to try and not live your life as a damaged person. I was so hurt I couldn't stop behaving like a victim and all my pride and dignity went out of the window.

anon1968 · 16/01/2011 13:23

H bairn. U have hit the nail on the head,he won't consider counselling at all, I am thinking of going if only to discuss my feelings, all my pride and dignity has too gone out of the the window, me begging him to stay when it should really be the other way round. He has said he knows he wouldn't last with her for various reasons but it has made him wonder whether we can be happy again.
I know I should be stronger and concentrate on me I just seem to lose sight of that. Not sleeping and struggling to think of anything else, it's on my mind 24/7

How do you stop going over everything in our head, I keep thnking of the horrible things said in arguments even tho he has said he doesn't mean all of it, just that I drive him mad questioning,

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anon1968 · 16/01/2011 14:30

The affair was/is definitely a symptom, not the cause of our problems, We had been having a very bad time, however I thought we were trying to work things out, the affair started after our problems, which obviously has now made things a lot worse, he confesses because he could tell I knew something, but says hevwas going to tell me anyway as he could no longer go on lying.

I don't know how to move forward, he says mt negativity isn't helping as he thinks I will always be like this, but I find it hard to be positive until I can be certain he can give her up and not run to her when its strained at home.

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cheguevara · 16/01/2011 14:43

Be kind to yourself. Take walks, long baths, go out with friends, distract yourself,let him look after the baby/child(?). Buy yourself little treats with NO GUILT.

Your aim is one day to make yourself the strong woman you once were and can still be. And some. Not for him or to be competing with her or anyone else, but for you.

Someone on a thread here in a similar raw state is managing to keep her (inevitable and very important) questioning to a set time each night, she finds that helps keep it less volatile. In between times write down your thoughts keep a diary of what you are feeling and what you need to ask him.

The going over everything in your head is I think quite important, it is part of the getting over it. At present you are in a state of shock, it is natural to worry it and not be able to think of much else. Gradually you will stop doing it, it will lessen quite naturally, but you need to make sense of the whole thing. Just don't torture yourself with it. Watch the thought coming, think about that thing, then put it aside.

By the way I was angry much of the time I raged at him in the middle of the night sometimes and we each said the most awful things but sometimes we also got close in a different way too than we ever had before. In those close intense times you get a glimpse of why they say an affair can make your relationship better than it ever was. But you both need to work hard to get there and stay there.

Do you love him? Does he love you? Most importantly has he stopped seeing her and cut off all contact with her?

Take yourself to counselling. It is not fair that he won't go but he is probably scared. There is a woman on here called WWIFN who will give you good advice about how both parties can look at the build up to the affair and how it happened, but he needs to listen too.

I used to be very anxious before the affair, but actually in a funny way it freed me from it.

Shit happens and we can't control it, or stop it but we can make ourselves strong to cope with it.

anon1968 · 16/01/2011 14:56

Hi cheguevara. For your reply, I know I need to do more for myself, I do want to be strong again, not the quivering wreck this has turned me into. I do love him, this past year has taught me that, we did actually seperate for a short while at the beginning of last year, and after all the pressure and stress of being under the same roof, when he moved out all the other pressures ie financial and worries how our child would take it went and I completely missed him. However I was too anxious that he would do it again that I couldn relax, I know it's not my fault that he went and started an affair (not sure when this started, he says it started after he realized things were not any better and that it was an escape from all his probes, relationship and work) he says he loves me but I'm having trouble believing this, I don't seem to be positive about anything,and no he hasn't cut all contact, which is why I can't relax.

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robberbutton · 16/01/2011 19:28

Hi anon, I'm 11 weeks on from discovering H's affair, I'm so sorry you're in this position too :(

Here's a link to my thread What are the signs a marriage can survive an affair? Loads of fantastic advice and stories from other posters. It's helped me immensely. Hopefully they'll help you on here as well.

I would say you won't be able to move forward if he can't stop contact. When he does (if he does) he then needs to put a huge amount of effort in to making you feel secure again (impossible for the moment, but hopefully will come. For us, this involved my H leaving his phone lying around so I could check it when I want, letting me go through bags and pockets, emailing me details of his meetings and where he was going to be during the day, phoning if he was going to be late home with a reason and an ETA.Of course none of this means he has stopped the affair, and I have exactly the same worries as you, but it helps and makes it less likely. Your H has to understand that whatever you ask is not because you want to control him, but because it helps your anxiety and gives you reassurance.

For my part, I've tried to be less constant with talking about it. I used to send H huge long texts at work and talk to him for hours on the phone, which wasn't really fair. And is counter-productive, as if he's stressed and can't get his work done, it's worse at home. So we do text throughout the day, but with an embargo on talking about "it". Then when the kids are in bed we'll chat for half an hour, either going through Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass, or just what has come into my head during the day. Sometimes if the mood is right we can have an evening talking about everything, or it's getting easier now to say let's just leave it for tonight.

Good luck anon, keep posting and I really hope it works out for you.

robberbutton · 16/01/2011 19:39

BTW I don't like that your H is saying 'HE deserves to be happy' and maybe she's his chance. For a start, relationships that start in this way, through lies and deceit and betrayal, have next to no chance of surviving. Secondly, you get out of a relationship what you put in. People have affairs because they are not GIVING, rather than not getting. If he invested as much time, effort and energy in you, your marriage and family, as he did in this other relationship, he would have every chance of being "happy" again with you (as presumably you were once), and certainly far more chance with you than with any affair partner.

I hope in rl he's not as selfish, self centred and self absorbed as he comes across in your posts :(

anon1968 · 16/01/2011 19:47

Hi Robberbutton,

thanks for taking the time to reply, i have actually been following your thread and try to follow all the advice, He does say he will stop contact and i know that it is getting less but i want it all to stop now. His reason is that he wants to be sure that he does whats right for himself, i know that makes him sound selfish but in a way at least we will both know that its what he really wants, i know this will only go on for so long, god i sound pathetic!!

I am trying not to be constant and some nights don't mention it at all, but then one little thing can send me completely over the edge, and it feels like 1 step forward and 10 back.

Somedays are better than others which i've seen you say but my god this is so hard, i never thought i would be in this position. Do you reccomend the book by Shirley Glass? I'm a bit sceptical and keep thinking i can get through this by myself, but don't want to talk to anybody in real life, a) because i am so ashamed that i
am letting him put me through this, i always said i would never put up with this and B) because if we do manage to work it out i dont want everybody to know and it be a constant reminder if you know what i mean.

I really hope it works out for you too, you sound further down the line than me, at least he is being more open with you. x

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PBGirl · 16/01/2011 22:26

Hello Anon

I started a thread with a similar title a few months ago, I'm really sorry you are going through this.

I'm not sure I can be much help, but at least this will give you a bump.

My first thought is that you are not yet in a position to start 'getting over an affair'. If your husband hasn't completely severed contact with the OW you can't possibly start to recover yet. It doesn't really sound like your husband is very sorry for what he has done/is doing, have I just misread it?

I haven't told anyone in real life either. WWIFN has been an absolute lifeline to me and my husband and there are others on here with lots of sounds advice. In the meantime, I would order the Shirley Glass book. I don't think this is something you can do completely on your own.

Can you tell us what you know about the affair? When and how it started? The nature of the affair (are they colleagues?), how did you find out? what was his reaction to you finding out?

I wanted to know everything there was to know. It's painful to hear but I couldn't have even began to recover until I knew exactly what I was recovering from. Also, if you don't get the answers you want to tend to make up your own and that could actually be worse than the real thing.

My husband's affair was probably very different to your husband's but it was still very painful. He didn't have any physical contact with the OW but I still have to come to terms with the lies and deceit which was totally out of character.

If you are not seeking support in real life, then please keep posting on here. x

robberbutton · 17/01/2011 00:57

Hi anon. I would recommend the Glass book. It's not easy reading and we dip in and out, but it has definitely helped us talk. It might help your H listen and understand what you are going through if it's coming from someone other than you, iyswim. WWIFN summarises it so well though that you could get most of the info from her posts, if you were definitely against buying it. I would though.

I know what you mean about telling people in rl, and we certainly haven't told everyone. But I have found that whenever I have told someone it has been so helpful. Parents have taken the DCs when I couldn't function. One friend told me about a joint friend who had gone through exactly the same thing, but kept it secret from nearly everyone- it has been fantastic talking it through with her. And, for me, the more people praying for us the better! I would def choose at least one or two rl people to confide in, you might be surprised what comes of it.

robberbutton · 17/01/2011 01:02

And please don't be ashamed, I only think it counts as 'putting up with it' if your H continues this selfish, destructive behaviour. At the moment you are fighting for your marriage and that is a noble thing. It might be an opportunity for you both, and possibly even your relationship, to change and grow and be stronger and better than it was.

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