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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I know I won't do anything about this, but what would you do? Very long and tedious post alert, feel free not to read it :-)

24 replies

ghosty · 06/10/2005 07:52

We moved into this house nearly a year ago. Next door is a very nice family with 2 sons aged 12 and 10. My DS (5) gets on really well with the 10 year old who is a lovely boy in Yr 5 at the same school where DS is. He walks with us to school every day and at least twice a week he comes round to play with DS and DD who both love him. DS pops round there sometimes too, to see is "S" is there.
DH and I like the parents ... but not in a "we clicked right away" type way ... they are a fair bit older than us and a bit sensible unlike us . I get on well with the mum in a kind of 'chat over the fence' type way without being best buddies or anything.
Anyway ... when we moved here some of the other neighbours told us that they have had trouble with the mum next door in the past as she is the complainy type .... they told me some stories which I have chosen to ignore as she seems ok to me.
Anyway ... I will get to the point eventually . DS and the boys next door have been swapping Playstation games in the last few months. The boys next door showing DS how to do some difficult moves etc etc. It has worked well so far.
DS lent them his much loved and prized and fairly new Lego Star Wars game a couple of weeks ago. They had it for a week and since we got it back we haven't been able to get it to work. It has been damaged. I rang up Mrs Next Door and asked her (really nicely 'cos I am really nice) if her boys had noticed anything wrong with it when they had it as we haven't been able to get it to work since we got it back. She said that it had worked fine and that it had not been out of their machine the whole time they had it.
I said not to worry, that it must have been damaged somehow else ... lots of smiles and 'Oh, never minds'
So, today ... the 12 year old boy come round and says, "Can we have all our PS games back please because Mum doesn't want OUR games damaged in YOUR machine!"
I was a bit taken aback and tried not to look like this but happily gave him his games back. I did say to him that I was sure there was nothing wrong with our machine as all our other games worked perfectly and to tell his mum not to worry, I was sure his game would be fine.
Since he left I have been feeling a bit miffed really. I mean, DS loved his star wars game and can't play it anymore after they had it and now they say there is something wrong with our machine. DS is gutted his game is broken.
I know I won't do anything about it apart from grind my teeth for a while but will continue to smile nicely to Mrs Next Door and have a cup of tea with her now and again ...
But what would YOU do about something like this?

If you have got this far that is ... soooo sorry for exceedingly long and boring post

OP posts:
starshaker · 06/10/2005 08:03

have you tried cleaning it etc or you could always take it back to the shop and say it doesnt work. not the most honest thing to do but the worse the can do is say no

ghosty · 06/10/2005 08:07

I did try taking it back to the shop starshaker
Unfortunately, even with a receipt, the fact it did work and now doesn't means that I can't replace it as it has been technically damaged by us. The bloke in the shop was very apologetic and said it is worth getting game insurance when you buy a new game ($5 per game).
I see his point really. I thought of fibbing and saying it never worked but we bought it a month ago so it would have been a bit suspect really. And I am too honest really
Did try to clean it ... no joy

OP posts:
katierocket · 06/10/2005 08:08

if you turn it over is it scratched on the back?

Not sure you can do anything about it short of putting it down to experience. Some people are so odd aren't they.

starshaker · 06/10/2005 08:09

lol id have said it was a birthday present and he had just got it even though it was bought a while ago

moondog · 06/10/2005 08:12

starshaker....

I'd just let it go ghosty...bit annoying but not worth the hassle.
Play it cool with her and don't let any of your games go next door again either.

FauxVampire · 06/10/2005 08:14

I think this is probably the kind of weird unpredictable behaviour your other neighbours were referring to. Have you heard on the grapevine how other people deal with it - eg do they break off with this woman, or stay friendly but with more distance? Does the weird behaviour get worse if people stay friends? What happens if the woman is confronted? It might be possible to continue to have a relationship with the family if you accept that this kind of strangeness will happen. Don't forget also that you need to keep on reasonably good terms with neighbours, not least because having legal disputes with them can hamper the sale of your house in the future.

ghosty · 06/10/2005 08:22

I agree moondog ... I will let it go ... and I don't like confrontation of any kind anyway (even virtual confrontation on this board )
FV ... hmm, the neighbourly disputes among the other neighbours happened some time ago apparently but one of the neighbours won't even say hello to Mrs Next Door because of something she did years ago ... they haven't spoken for 8 years! The story goes that he was walking his daughter home from school one day and stopped to help a guy who had broken down. He told his daughter to walk the last 2 minutes home. She was home for a maximum of 5 minutes sitting on the doorstep waiting for her dad and Mrs Next Door phoned the social services to report a home alone case. They had to go through 6 months of investigation from the social service apparently and so he hasn't spoken to her since.
She also called the fire brigade when one of the neighbours set off fireworks at a children's party.
She also used to put dog poo that she found in her garden in their letter boxes with a not saying "I believe this is yours"
But this was a fair while ago and there haven't been any recent things as far as I know.

OP posts:
FauxVampire · 06/10/2005 08:24

Blimey. Exercise caution, I'd say!

katierocket · 06/10/2005 09:20

Jesus, she sounds like a loon, steer clear.

shimmy21 · 06/10/2005 09:46

to play devil's advocate for a moment - you did ring her up and very politely accuse her family of breaking your game. (Probably it did work in her house and if it got scratched her ds probably wouldn't have told her so she was none the wiser.)

Putting myself in her shoes- if someone said the same to me, however politely, when as far as I was aware the game had been fine I might be a bit touchy about lending out my games to you.

Having said that - previous record and weight of evidence against her I find her guilty of gross craziness and neuroticism. Smile sweetly and steer clear!

ghosty · 06/10/2005 10:29

Ah, but shimmy, I didn't accuse them of anything ...
I asked them if they had noticed anything wrong with the game when they had it ... I wouldn't have taken that as an accusation if someone asked me the same thing ...
But then again, maybe she did take it as an accusation considering how unpredictable she has been in the past ...

OP posts:
secur · 06/10/2005 10:40

Message withdrawn

shimmy21 · 06/10/2005 10:43

no I know you didn't accuse her ghosty, but what I'm saying is that if someone asked me if I'd noticed something wrong with the game because it hadn't worked since we'd got it back, I would have TAKEN it as an accusation.

I mean, reading between the lines, if someone rings you up to ask that, you know what they are implying whether they say it directly or not.

I don't for a minute think you did the wrong thing and if someone said that to me I would have guiltily offered to replace the game even if I was convinced it hadn't been me who'd broken it

but maybe I'm just as paranoid and neurotic as mad neighbour lady

ghosty · 06/10/2005 10:46

Fair enough secur ... That is pretty much what DH said, Don't sweat it, she's probably done us a favour by not wanting to do the swaps anymore.

I didn't want to make her feel accused, that wasn't my intention. My intention was to find out if the game had worked at their house ... and maybe find out if something had happened to it. I feel a bit bad now ...
I will pop round next week some time for a quick cuppa and see if she is frosty with me ...

OP posts:
JoolsToo · 06/10/2005 10:47

put it down to experience - lifes too short - don't lend them anything else

saadia · 06/10/2005 10:47

I would just keep quiet about it and keep a bit of distance from her, she sounds weird.

ghosty · 06/10/2005 10:48

And hopefully I won't find anything squidgy and stinky in my letter box in the mean time not that we own a dog ...

OP posts:
secur · 06/10/2005 10:50

Message withdrawn

ghosty · 06/10/2005 10:52

Oh x posts ... sorry ...
I was wondering how I would have reacted if someone phoned me up with the same thing.
I would probably have said, "Oh blimey, no ... it worked fine when we had it. I hope my boys didn't break it ... blimey, so sorry if they did." And then would probably have offered to pay half towards a new game ...
I wouldn't have thought of stopping the swaps ...

OP posts:
koalabear · 06/10/2005 10:56

TBH, it sounds fair to me. She thinks nothing is wrong with their player, you've got a damaged game, and therefore the natural assumption is that there must be something wrong with yours. She probably asked her boys nicely to make sure that they don't swap games for the time being, and being children, the message came out quite blunt and awkward

I really wouldn't worry about this, but just keep on smiling and chatting over the fence

secur · 06/10/2005 11:00

Message withdrawn

Lizzylou · 06/10/2005 11:01

I was going to ask if you owned a dog, Ghosty!

staceym11 · 06/10/2005 11:18

i think that shes done you a favor, maybe the boys will steer clear and you can keep away from her she sounds like an attention seeker and weirdo!!!

catsareeasier · 08/10/2005 15:12

Lol at the dog poo posting - much respect to Mrs Next Door, I say (assuming she did actually post it through the right letterboxes!!). Just hope nobody turns up with any from my cats!!

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