Lessons in Romance???

[couldtryharder]

I love my DH to bits, he's a good, good man. Not perfect, but who is? We've had issues with our previously healthy sex life since starting our family (5 years ago). I know it's not the only part of the issue, but there is NO romance at all. When I try and explain to him that I need to be 'wooed' rather than asked if there is any chance of a 'nosh' (TMI sorry) he says that we had lust for each other before the kids so why would he need to use romance. Sigh. I won't go into the reasons why, I'm hoping some of you mums, or even dads, get why it's important now, but how do I convince him of my need for the softly softly approach without an argument or showdown? I so want to get things back to normal - by that I mean nomal for a 40yr old married woman with two young kids, but I need him on the same page.

I know exactly how you feel. Sadly I dont know the answer. I am only 27 and feel like an old woman as DP is hardly ever cuddly or affectionate :(

((hugs)) changing. I have to say that he is always telling me that he loves me, that I'm sexy, that he appreciates all I do at home/with the kids etc, which I am so, so lucky to have, but that doesn't light the flame iykwim. Do I expect too much?

he says that we had lust for each other before the kids so why would he need to use romance.

Does not compute. Surely the two go hand-in-hand?

I dont know. I think we all look to celebrity and the films and see never-ending devotion and want a slice of it. But real life just isnt like that, looking back at my grandparents, they were deeply in love but not off shagging every five minutes and certainly not big on cuddles and kisses. I think its in our faces all day everyday and we want some of it for our own lives.

Are you me?

We had this chat last night. I would like cuddles without the expectation of sex, which would help. Bed before a certian time would also help and also he has to remember that he snoozes in fron t of TV and I don't as I my ears are always on the look out for DC's.

And I would like the wooed bit and I would tell him.

I hear you changing and your grandparents put a smile on my face.

Mymblesson - as in didn't need to be talked into ripping his clothes off (let alone anything else!). I did at every chance I had. I was a minx and now I'm more of a brooding chicken, lol.