Advice please: how much maintenance should I ask for?

[simonedeboudoir]

I don't want to be married to my (d)h anymore. We have periods of time when things are ok between us, but it feels like they just mask the fact that things aren't right and haven't been for a long time. We just don't get on. I am fed up of his bad temper and moodiness. He is fed up with my assorted character flaws which apparently are responsible for his bad temper and moodiness. There is no abuse, and nobody else involved, and he's a committed dad.

I am a SAHM, though I occasionally take on freelance work. I have a ltd company through which I pay myself (as and when I earn anything). DH earns about £65k plus a few k bonus per year. We have about £20k in savings.

Can someone please advise how much maintenance I should ask for and whether I'd be entitled to any benefits or support e.g tax credits. I've never claimed anything from the state but have paid in enough during my working life, and I'd be prepared to claim if I was entitled.

Just read this through and I sound cold and clinical. I'm crying! But focussing like this is helping me hold it together.

Please someone talk to me

entitled to

You need to contact the CAB who will be able to give you good advice and maybe you could make an appointment with a solicitor who will do a free (half) hour. You also need to contact the CSA wrt child maintenance.

Do not trough the c/a my mate has 2 kids and only gets 30 pounds a week also their are new rules in regards to this coming in were you will have to pay £100 one off fee for their intervention if I were you I would sort it between you get it written and signed I would say a school aged child £50.

A week £10 for dinner money £15 for clubs £1-5 pocket money £10 for a trip to the movies for something on a saturday £10 for a hair cut £10 savings

Just my view

IMO 50 per week is not enough esp with your h's level of income.

My exh pays 20% of his net income for 2 dcs.

If possible try to come to a private agreement rather than using CSA

are you planning to stay in the mh?

'assorted character flaws which apparently are responsible for his bad temper and moodiness'

Take half the savings and spend it on a Very Good Lawyer.

15% for one child is what the CSA recommend. I would also advise a good lawyer.

What's his net salery? Your child is entitled to 15% of it.

With that much money involved I wouldn't even go down the CSA route

Thanks everyone. Yes I'm planning to stay in the mh.

20% of net income?

merrywidow

Actually you have no idea how much this is helping me. I felt so alone before I posted, thank you.

X post

Blimey I had no idea, does that mean two children are entitled to 30% or is that too optimistic?

If you are in London I know a fine one; good
lawyers always seem frightenly expensive, however they know the best way to deal and don't run up the bill with unnesessary rubbish. Lawyers are there to help you do a deal

As far as I am aware 20% is usually suggested for 2 children, rather than 30%.

15% for one child, 20% for two. That's of his net pay btw.

If you can try and agree an amount with him, if you feel you can trust him to pay it regularly and not with hold any/all of it if he disagrees with you on something.

I would suggest get the best possible deal on assets first, get as much out that way so that if his future income drops, and maintenance dwindles you hopefully then have your own resources to live off.

And remember you will be employing a good lawyer to work for you

Thanks again everyone. Yes I can trust him not to be unreasonable, he's just a bad tempered arse. I doubt he'd challenge 20% of income.

But even so, it seems like I need a lawyer as well to negotiate re assets.

Just been through it but my DH is on a lower income.

In spite of our total incompatibility he's a good man and we managed to sort it out between ourselves. Made the mistake of employing solicitors to write down what we'd already agreed so that's £1000 less to share!

I took slightly more than 50% of our capital (equity and pensions), he pays 20% of his income for our two DDs. I didn't want maintenance and can survive well on my salary plus tax credits.