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Original poster

DH and Competitive Sickness

23 replies

IvaNighSpare · 15/01/2011 15:47

Does anyone else have a DH who, when you are unwell, always seem to have 'worse' symptoms? Or am I just saddled with an arse in that respect?
If I have a cold, he's got flu; if I've got a headache, he's got a migraine coming on; I have a dodgy tummy, he can't get off the toilet.
He's an only child with an overbearing mother who used to be a nurse, maybe that has something to do with it.
Thoughts, please?

OP posts:
FlyingSquirrel · 15/01/2011 15:50

Whatever is wrong with you

a) play it down, maybe he thinks you are overplaying it

and

b) whatever is wrong, tell him it PMT/gynae/boob pain, let him compete then Grin

SleepingLion · 15/01/2011 15:53

My thoughts:

I have an only child who has only had about two days off sick since he started school four years ago.

Not sure what kind of a dig you are trying to have at only children Hmm

clam · 15/01/2011 16:00

Sleepinglion, this is about an H who's being an arse, not a pop at only children. Chill out!

Original poster
IvaNighSpare · 15/01/2011 16:03

Thanks clam , no pop at only children, only the one referred to in the OP with the witch as a mother.

OP posts:
ilovemyhens · 15/01/2011 18:57

My dh is competitive at sickness.

Me and the dcs are all currently recovering from flu and he hasn't had it! He can't even pretend to have it because the symptoms include sickness and diarrhoea Grin

He's been quietly seething all today whilst we all sit around looking pale and wan. He's also complaining about us coughing - it's getting on his nerves apparently Hmm

Mymblesson · 15/01/2011 21:46

I had a girlfriend like that. I wasn't ALLOWED to be ill, because she was always much worse, apparently.

Changing2011 · 15/01/2011 21:48

I dont know why you are digging at only children either - my DD is the most caring child you could meet if someone is unwell!

But I do have a competitively ill DP and it REALLY grates!

talkingnonsense · 15/01/2011 21:51

I think the op only meant that siblings learn that there are degrees of illness and when an only child is I'll they are always the illest iyswim?

ChinaCup · 16/01/2011 00:22

DH had a bad back for 2 days and said - in all seriousness - it's just like when you had a c-section.

A couple of months ago he had a mild gastroenteritis and took himself off to the GP complaining of appendicitis.

He's going for the snip soon; cannot wait to see the fuss he makes over that Grin

MrsFlittersnoop · 16/01/2011 00:31

I have one of these at home Hmm. We tease him about it though, and he's learned not to announce "Oh I've been feeling XYZ too" as soon as anyone else gets ill.

His family are all like this. MIL (who is admittedly in poor health with rheumatoid arthritis) can't bear it if anyone else
in the family is unwell. She sulked for months when her SIL was dying of cancer last year Sad.

Littleover · 16/01/2011 22:32

My DH is like this but throws himself into extreme acts of martyrdom to get maximum sympathy from family/colleagues/anyone but me. He dug three neighbour's driveways clear in the pre Christmas snowfall even though he thought was "coming down with swine flu". Bizarre.

I am ashamed to say that I have faked a cold a couple of times just to confirm my suspicions. It is still amusing to me to cough and splutter into my tissues (trying to stifle my giggles), he will develop symptoms within the hour - even drinking Lemsip Max and saying that his throat is soooo sore. I keep this going until the next day, letting him struggle into work feeling as bad as he says he does. If I say I feel much better when he comes home he has a miraculous recovery as well and we never discuss it further. It's too funny to analyse isn't it?

madonnawhore · 16/01/2011 22:33

Why do they DO that though? Is it some weird attention thing?

It's so very odd when you think about it.

RumourOfAHurricane · 16/01/2011 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LazyParenting · 16/01/2011 22:46

That is so funny shineon Grin.

My parents have a rather more crude way of getting that point across, which I will not repeat here.

My ex was like this too.

RumourOfAHurricane · 16/01/2011 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Flisspaps · 16/01/2011 22:59

I want to hear the crudeness!

OP, start making up illnesses, see how far DH will go to compete.

icapturethecastle · 16/01/2011 23:06

My DH is exactly this same (in fact this week we have both been ill but of course he is worse). I don't necessarily think it is an only child think more mollycoddling mothers I know my MIL was and is certainly one of those. But probably just a man thing.

pushmepullyou · 16/01/2011 23:11

I complained to mine that I was nauseous with an unpleasant taste in my mouth. Apparently he had also had the same thing all day.

I left it for a few hours before I explained to him that mine was because I was pregnant...

Flisspaps · 16/01/2011 23:14

Pushmepullyou Grin

MummieHunnie · 17/01/2011 09:02

Some people are just all about them, and no matter what it is be it a headache/tummy bug/bad back or things like horrible job/car accident etc, everything they have been through is sooooo much worse than anything anyone else could have gone through Wink, they are selfcentered folk, with issues.

Just remember it is their stuff and if they want to go through life like that it is up to them. People compete over the strangest of things Confused, some people have a need for sympathy, maybe they didn't get any as a child, or too much as a child and they forget to let go of it as a teen.

It sounds like your dh's mother was like mine a nurse, who would scare the hell out of you with stories of nasty disease's, she was obsessed with mrsa before it got in the news and health and safety and would have you dead in your bed over illness! I took that with me for a bit into adulthood and it took a bit of work to let that fear go.

Your dh sounds like he had a smother mother and maybe when you are all ill he feels that illness deserves care and he doesn't like the idea that he has to be the one to give it out so fakes illness to avoid having to care for you all, he sounds like a lazy selfish arse who needs to grow up!

chrysanthemum38 · 17/01/2011 10:17

Littleover - naughty but so funny!!

MrsFlittersnoop · 17/01/2011 15:34

My DH's family didn't show to him as a child physical affection unless he was ill. I know DH was mollycoddled - taken to the Dr for antibiotics at the first sign of a cold etc. It would appear the only way they have of showing love is through making a fuss about someone's health.

kepler10b · 17/01/2011 15:47

i hope you tease him about it. my OH isn't competitive but is prone to hypochondria. he can't just have back ache it has to be terminal cancer etc. he comes from a very hypochondriac culture and his mum used to let him and brothers stay in bed if they said they were unwell (mine used to drag me to school with asthma attacks).

now if he says he's dying i tend to say "can you die quietly then please i'm trying to sleep".

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