Parent death

[AliGrylls]

Found out my dad died this evening of a massive heart attack. I am not feeling anything at the moment except for the fact I can't sleep. Is this normal?

I'm so sorry. Sudden deaths are bloody hard - no time to deal with all that unfinished business, no time to say your goodbyes. All you have is the comfort that he won't have suffered from much pain - that there wasn't weeks or months spent suffering.

Take your time over things - don't expect to be over this quickly. Sometimes you think you're doing fine and then some little memory or thought just knocks you off your feet - this is all normal and healthy. When you're ready, think about bereavement counselling.

Ali, it is really really hard to cope with and adding in the family dynamics just pushes you closer to the edge - there are very few families that are like the Waltons! You have to have more patience at a time when you naturally have less.

As for your Dad treating your Mum badly and the anger you have over that - it's tough. However, accepting that he wasn't perfect is OK :) You don't have to rewrite history now and it doesn't mean you can't fully grieve for him. Imperfect as he was, as we all are, he's still your Dad.

I'm so pleased you have DH & your MIL, it's good to know they are there for you.

I hope you get to have some imput into the funeral arrangements and have some of the things you would like to have.

Try to spend some time just thinking about the good times x

malteasers - sorry to hear about your Dad - it's just not bloody fair is it :(

Maltesers - that must be really hard. I'm so sorry to hear about your ldad x