Hi all.
I'm 26, and a mum to three gorgeous kiddies, aged 10, 7 and 2. I've been with my partner for 13 years.
When I was pregnant with my second child he started to hit. Not all the time, slaps here and there, punches in the back or legs, a sly kick. The worst he done was kicked me in my stomach when I was 4 months pregnant. I kicked him out, and he went to stay with his nan. She kept having a go at me for it. As she was beaten black and blue by his grandad, I thought she would understand. Ok, so I was never put in hospital by him like his nan was, but I thought she'd at least understand. But no. She told me it was my fault. Something I had done must have sparked him off.
He used to work full time, then go straight to the pub after work. Sometimes I'd be lucky to see him before 12 midnight. Our eldest had a problem with her hip and was in hospital for 2 months. Being 16 and my first baby, I was petrified. One night he came up to see us in hospital, he was drunk, and told me he had kissed another girl. I forgave him.
When I was pregnant with out second, just before he started hitting me, he cheated on me again. I caught him in the act this time. But yet again, I forgave him. Don't ask me why, all I knew was that I loved him. Shortly after our second was born, I think she was about 8 months old, he cheated on me again. He told me after I had tended to him being sick, from drinking too much. He actually left me and went to live with his mum. I found out a week later that this other girl lived across the road from his mum, and they were now dating.
I tried to get on with life, showed him what he was missing. I met up with an old school boyfriend, and stayed at his until 6am one night, and only then did my partner realise I really was moving on. He wanted me back. I gave in.
Then about a year later, he left his job. He started staying up all night playing on his computer, not getting out of bed until 6pm, then going to see his mates straight away. The girls never seen him. Slowly, I realised I didn't love him anymore. Maybe I realised how badly he had treated me. He threw a bottle of coke through my living room window and I reported him to the police. After that things changed.
He came over everyday to see our girls at 8am. Whereas before we were lucky to see him before 12pm. He even started to look for another job, and promised me things had changed. He showed me how much he loved me everytime I seen him. Eventually, we got back together.
In time we had another baby. But now, our son is two, and today it has all kicked off again.
He only works 15 hours a week. When he's not in work he sleeps. He comes from his mates at 10pm and stays up all night playing on his computer. He goes to bed about 6am. He then doesn't get up until 6pm and then he goes straight out again. The kids barely see him, I can't remember the last time he told me he loved me, or kissed me, let alone anything else. I feel depressed all the time, and just wish he would act like a proper dad to the kids. Today, because I told him I'd had enough, he hit me again. Punched me in the mouth. Not hard enough to mark, but hard enough to hurt. And just an hour ago, whilst I was washing up, he picked up a bowl, filled it with water, and chucked it over me. What can I do?