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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH sulking on the couch

10 replies

awkwardgit · 12/01/2011 09:39

I need to vent and have namechanged.

2 nights ago as we were getting into bed, I accidentally scratched DH- something that always irritates him. Obviously I apologised but he turned his back in a huff. 15 mins later he moans that the lamp is still on. I turned it off but was unsuprisingly no longer relaxed so started playing with my phone.

He then explodes that I'm taking the piss (light from phone preventing him from sleeping). I tell him to stop talking to me like I'm shit. He tells me to fuck off and storms off to sleep on the couch.

Has not said a single word to me since and spent a second night on the couch last night.

Obviously he is too stubborn to apologise so thinks he can just ignore me and hope the situation he has created will magically disappear Hmm

Yes, he is a moody git, but we've not rowed for months and this came out of the blue.

Can't decide whether to continue ignoring him or have a blazing row. One of DCs birthdays today so could do without this.

Don't want him out, know this isn't an option either of us wants for us but still vvv pissed off.

Any suggestions for breaking the deadlock when I really want to break his legs? Smile

OP posts:
sjm123 · 12/01/2011 09:45

I'd just ask him if he's going to continue to sulk and ruin your dc's birthday or if he'd like to behave like a grown-up today.

I know how frustrating a sulky bloke is, my ex used to strop and sulk, pout and ignore like a hormonal teenage girl and it used to make me so bloody angry!

oldenoughtowearpurple · 12/01/2011 09:47

I think you BOTH created this argument and you are BOTH in the wrong; both sulking like teenagers.

If the only options for resolution that you can see are to carry on sulking or to have a row then you need to grow up a bit. How about a calm, open discussion saying that you are sorry that you have had a row and would like to hear his point of view; and that you don't want to spoil your DCs day with an unplesant atmosphere.

Sarsaparilllla · 12/01/2011 09:47

He's totally overreacting, I don't see the point of having a blazing row about it, remind him that it's the birthday party today and he needs to get a grip.

werewolf · 12/01/2011 09:49

Oh come on, light on for 15 minutes and when he asks you to switch it off, you start playing with your phone? If you couldn't sleep, why didn't you get up again?

HellinArcher · 12/01/2011 09:55

I think you were a bit silly and a tad passive-aggressive with the phone. that would really annoy me, it comes across as v childish. however your DH getting in a huff because you accidentally scratched him (not badly I assume) is also being an eejit.

agree with oldenough's wording above, go and break the deadlock, for your dc's sake if noone else.

proudnscaryvirginmary · 12/01/2011 10:06

Ummm both grow up and stop ruining DC's birthday?

tinkertitonk · 12/01/2011 11:34

"... the situation he has created..." No, you created it together. From a practical viewpoint one of you has to apologize first, and it might as well be you. You don't even have to mean it if you can fake it sincerely.

awkwardgit · 12/01/2011 11:42

Thank you for your replies- food for thought.

oldenoughtowearpurple he doesn't do calm discussion- the options outlined are the only ones he will participate in! I've tried reasoning before and he just walks away and/or tells me to drop it.

werewolf we got into bed with the intention of watching tv, not to sleep at that point.

I'm not actually sulking, it's a habit I detest. I just know from previous experience that he will try to continue this until I brush it under the carpet for the sake of peace. All that does is creates resentment as it's not resolved.

Thought he'd outgrown this Sad

OP posts:
awkwardgit · 12/01/2011 12:00

tinker, I had apologised already, more than once. I didn't need to fake, the apology was genuine.

When he stormed off, he was ranting about me scratching him still. Not just f off, also go f yourself. No-one has ever spoken to me like that and I'm devastated tbh Sad Sad

He rarely apologises for anything (I always do), and if I were to now, he would take it as licence to speak to me like shit again. Determined to not allow this to be brushed aside but not sure how to tackle it effectively.

OP posts:
awkwardgit · 12/01/2011 20:08

I am happy to admit I was wrong to expect the usual reaction Blush Smile

Had a civilised talk when he came home after a frosty start.

He thought I was deliberately winding him up (I wasn't) and he's apologised sincerely for the verbal abuse and was quite shamefaced about it.

He did rather lose brownie points when he called me by the name of his hated ex shortly afterwards though Biscuit

Thank you all for your words of wisdom.

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