bad husband- what is best for kids??

[Spandangle]

my husband is completely crap. i cant depend on him emotionally, practically or financially. he spends very little time with us as a family and i am desperate to seperate from him and havve him move out. BUT we have 2 daughters - 5 1/2 years and 2 months old. when i think about how seperating might affect them it tears me up and makes me want to persevere for their sakes. but it cant be a good example to set them can it? to see their mum so disrespected by their dad??
which scenario do you think will be least damaging for them?

span...from what you post, it sounds like you do everything on your own anyway

I am not sure what you would actually lose if you were to split, apart from a lazy, self-entitled man who sponges off you and doesn't respect you, or his children

I wouldn't keep a man like this in my house and you shouldn't have to either

a co-parenting relaionship might be better all round, at least he will have to use his own initiative at times and you won't have yet another child to look afer !

How can i teach her about respect and honesty and being kind, when i am tolerating her fathers behaviour?????

Hear, hear. And try projecting yourself a few years into the future - imagine you heard your dcs insulting you the way your P does. How do you explain that they aren't allowed to say those things to you but he is?

anyfucker- i KNOW i would better off without him. im trying to determine what is best for kids. i would tolerate hhim if i thought that it was best for them to have a dad (no matter how useless) in the home. but i think you are right - if he didnt have his kids in the same house, he might make more of an effort when he sees them.

my childhood was very happy with 2 happy in-love parents. i suppose i am afraid of seperating bacause i have no clue what that feels like from the childs perspective....i will start a new thread about that i think..

i also have no clue what it is like to live with 2 parents that dont get along and where the dad is unsupportive of the mum...so trying to compare the 2 situations is very hard

stop trying to compare situations you have no experience of

you clearly don't have the marriage your parents had

you have no idea what it really feels like for kids of separated parents

you need to do what is right for you ...everything else will follow

surely on most basic level they better off living wihtout someone who
" will criticise and complain all day" - of course the kids dont enjoy that, how can they? how can that be beneficial jsut to ahve him around in the home?

my dds say they pleased we separated from and no longer liv with someone with those issues (and plenty more)