My Ex is going away for several months.

[maltesers]

What do you think of this ??? We (me DP and son) have been away for the new year week and now back. Next weekend i was assuming DS would see his Dad, but. . . .
Just got a text from Ex saying, "I am away in Scotland Thurs till Sunday" . . .ALSO . . .
"I am going away to New Zealand in August for a few months"

My Ex, the father of my 10 yr old son normally sees him every weekend Saturday am till sunday evening. I know he is telling me this news with great relish. . .but TBH it doesnt bother me now at all.
I am quite happy Ds isnt spending time with my Ex as he is a fiery tempered , volatile, self centred man, and always takes DS to the pub at weekends, and has very late nights. However, i know my DS loves his Dad and hell knows what he is going to think about not seeing him for that long. . .
Any opinions greatly received.

For your sons sake perhaps you could use Skype so at least he has contact with his dad ...... i know not the same as contact but at least he will feel that he "sees" his dad ....

yes that is a good idea.. . thanks.

Perhaps Ex will accidentally purchase a one way ticket . . .ha ha !!

It'll be fine! Just plan to do stuff with him and have some great Mum/Son time.

your Ex is just trying to get you to bite, don't give him the satisfaction.

Take it in your stride, hopefully that will rub off on your DS.

Thanks LittleMiss i will do that and i hope DS does too. We are away beginning of summer school hols for 2 weeks and maybe he can see Dad from 31st July till he goes off to NZ. .

I have just texted my Ex back saying "That sounds brilliant!"

Good one, you said exactly the right thing!

My ex has had shared residence of the children since we split, but he went away to work for 3 months before christmas. Now he's announced he's leaving altogether and won't see them for 5 months from February till July becasue 9 days at easter 'isn't long enough to bother coming back' (from France!) i think it is intended to be a punishment aimed at me (I work and study; he does neither apart form the odd stint overseas), but he's always had a nasty streak and I'm glad he's not going to be here to disrupt my life any more. I think it's crappy towards the children who are going to wonder what's wrong with them that he doesn't want to see them anymore but he doesn't seem to worry about that.

It is absolutely crappy but on a practical note there are lots you can do to keep up contact. My DH and I are still very much together but he travels a lot - I often describe myself as a happily married single mum.
Just some ideas

• absolutely both get skype and if he is travelling about with no computer see if he can get a smart phone like an iphone you can use skype on that for phone calls which is much easier and cheaper.
• Set up a private website so they can both upload photos. My DH says he loves best the adhoc ones of the kids messing about or scanned copies of pictures they drew
• tell your ex to send lots of postcards. I know email is much more common but even nowadays nothing quite beats something arriving in the post

And then just play it day by day, sometimes my son doesn't want to talk about his dad and hates his travelling. The next day he gets down his globe and wants to talk about where he is, what time is it, what might he be doing etc etc

Anyway once everyone gets over the initial emotion of it - I hope some of this helps

My Ex is just very very self centred so thoughts of travelling to NZ over ride him missing his son. He has always been more concerned about what he wants rather than what his son wants , (or what i needed when we were together)
I am wondering what his lady friend (Mother figure) is thinking with all his plans to go to NZ. . .cos i know for sure its not her idea.