I have been avoiding some things, and they are becoming critical so have to be deal with. I used to deal with things like this head on, it got too painfull so I avoided.
Going through the things has triggered me regarding exh, it all ended so quickly and became so very nasty.
I was sitting there doing stuff that I don't want to do and I felt overwhelmed and just wanted to leave it to someone else and bugger off really. When I thought that I thought that really that was what I think happened to exh, he got to a point where things overwhelemed him and he could not cope so went off and had fun and started a new life, leaving the mess to me.
I have also been thinking about him and the kids, and thinking how rubbish he was and the choices he made and thinking about the children and their pain etc.
I don't normally think this sort of thing this intensley, I try to avoid thinking about it.
I don't even know what this post is about really, I feel confused.