Any mums who left the kids with their dad?

[sw2]

sitting here, feeling rather miserable and completely unable to sleep. I thought if i read through my posts from five years ago,it would remind me how nothing ever changes, and it has. but still cant get to sleep :(

Its usually the man who leaves the relationship and the woman is left with the kids. For a lot of reasons, that make perfect sense within the constraints I had, Ive had to leave my kids with their dad. I go back home every weekend, but its sooo hard. He is nasty and mean to me. Kids are amazing, they know and understand why I cant be there, but I know that the middle one has been known to cry himself to sleep. :(
Is there anyone else who has had to do this.

notgreatexpectations "I do not subscribe to this modern hocus pocus idea that parents are of equal value"

Not all parents are of equal value, but I hope that's not every Mum has a higher value then every Dad? Life's certainly not as clear cut as that and I've met some amazing single Dads who's ex's have been awful Mums.

The op has not said her exh is abusive, she has said he is nasty and mean to her - that could mean anything. The op is obviously hurt and after an argument with the ex feels he's been nasty. She's also said there is lots of arguing and shouting when they are together. Sounds like many couples after they have split. The op also said that her exh is 'he is a decent father in his own way'

This sounds like the relationship broke down and it was op who left, leaving exh to look after dc's but having contact every weekend at exh expense in the family home but she is now regretting her decision. It if was the other way round we'd all be saying the ex was talking the piss expecting every weekend contact in her home especially after leaving her with the dc's.

SW2 if you want your dc's back with you you're going to have to fight hard, they are in their home with their Dad. If he is as bad as you say start documenting EVERYTHING now, you'll need to build a case. And stop arguing with your ex, it will be hard but it is no good for your dc's, nor for you. And stop doing his housework!

Dh and I are both divorced with dc's each and have been through every angle of divorces, dc's living with Mums/Dads, aggression, lying, bullying, child abuse and neglect, drug abuse - you name it, we've had to tackle it and it is bloody hard work.

I'll say what I said before, If you think it is best for your dc's to be with you then you have to fight for them. If they're best with Dad, however hard that might be to admit then leave them there and maintain good contact with them in your home, not his and keep the contact with him to the minimum essentials plus be civil to him when you have to deal with him (then come on here and rant!)