Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can someone please help me to stop feeling guilty about wanting to leave

3 replies

FlatDuck · 09/01/2011 21:20

DP and I have been together for nearly 2 years and have a 9 month old dd. She was unplanned, but we both dote on her and i really feel 'at home' as a mother. We are both in out 20's.

He has never told me he loves me, when i asked him outright he admitted that he doesn't. He said he doesn't think he could ever love anyone. He never gives me compliments or makes me feel good about myself. He will say things like "i want to have shag you so much" (sorry Blush) and make rude gestures and stuff but he never tells me i am beautiful.

He is a self employed artist, last year he earned £8000. I have just finished maternity leave so i don't have any money coming in. Because if the nature of his job he is away about 1 week a month so it would be hard for me to have a regular job. He know that he doesn't earn enough but he seems unable to comprehend doing a normal 9-5 job. I have tried to help him, and have made suggestions of the kind of things he could do but every time he comes up with reasons that he can't (he doesn't know how to apply ect).

I should have left him a long time ago, i should have left when i was pregnant. I used to be so confident in my looks and personality but now i just feel like an empty shell of a person.

At the moment we live in a small flat in a city i don't particulary like. I have no qualifications and no way of getting any in the current situation. I have been thinking of moving back to my home town (150 miles away) where i could in a few years time go to college, and get a better job to provide a good life for DD. I want her to have a good role model, and just now i feel like she would grow up thinking her mum was crap.

The problem is that i feel so so guilty for wanting to take DD so far away. Obviously he would see her alot less and for his faults he is a good, caring dad.

Can someone please tell me if it would be wrong to move back home?

OP posts:
MigratingCoconuts · 09/01/2011 21:26

No, it would not be wrong. The way you describe it, this isn't a relationship and you can't stay togeter becuase of the kid.

feelin sorry for your difficult decisions but I think you know what you need to do already.

Good luck Smile

SheWillBeLoved · 09/01/2011 21:35

It wouldn't be wrong, it'd be the best thing you could do for yourself, and ultimately your daughter. Do you honestly want her growing up and watching her mum and dad having this type of 'relationship', leaving her to think that it is normal and settling for it herself?

Go home, honestly. If he wants to carry on seeing his daughter, he will find a way. Good luck :)

elephantsaregreen · 09/01/2011 22:01

You have very cleverly and bravely thought of good decisions to make for the purpose of providing your kid a good life. That's brilliant. There would be many of us who would have just stayed and 'made do'. Don't settle. Do what you know if right.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page