controlled

[Gracie2010]

I feel completely at a loss as to what to do. My partner is constantly telling me I have no friends and putting me down. I asked a friend to go shopping with me and it caused a huge argument, with him saying that 'fine, go if you want, no-one will look at you trust me!' Then aaid I wanted to go out without him because I'm an attention seeker. He also said I'm an embarrassment ans I don't know how much more of this I can take. Does anyone have any advice because I have no idea what to do for the sake of my 2 month old daughter. Thanks.

Yes Me too MigratingCoconuts

So chrisdaddy, how do you propose to tackle the problems in your relationship? Why do you want to be in a relationship which is making you unhappy?

merry widow,im sorry if i come across as bitter as i didn't intend to,i meant that the people on heres posts were nasty,i only found out about this because my partner told me about it as the comments she thought had gone too far.she told me that after she had had the argument she tried to delete it and she thought i should know what people have said ,She told me she posted it in the heat of an argument and i completely understand how she feels,i know its hard for her to have a child and her life suddenly change. we both truly love our daughter and as i said in a previous post i just wish i could publish a picture of us taken only this week,i read what she put and some of the things people have put on here dont even correspond to my partners post.some of the language on here is utterly disgusting may i add,and the people who like to use this kind of obscenities are rather hypocritical as it is a very aggressive method of replying

You have BOTH had the child and BOTH your lives have changed.

Maybe this is a wake up call for you both then. From now on you are a family and should show respect for one another and create a safe and loving environment for your DD to grow in

Don't you think you are rather hijacking your partner's post chrisdaddy?

Gracie: Hope you get to read this (and manage to delete your browsing history): Speak to WOmen's Aid, your partner is a loser and a fuckwit and is going to get worse.

"know its hard for her to have a child and her life suddenly change."

That says it all. Her life has suddenly changed? But HIS life has stayed the same?

Pur-lease. And don't tell us how to fucking express ourselves, you ignoramus.

Where is op???

Isn't this what she said she was worried would happen??

Chrisdaddy, I have reread this thread and see nothing that doesn't tally with what op first wrote and I see very little other than sound advice that could help you both.

You said that she wrote it in the heat of the moment after an argument but, if I were you, I would find it very worrying that she wrote it at all. Doesn't this worry you at all???

Well, Gracie, if you gave him a black eye and he says those things about going out (I currently believe you both) then you're both abusing each other. You probably do have PND and you desperately need to go back to your doctor, tell them everything.

I used to be in a volatile/passionate relationship. Well, that's what we called it but it was a horrible abusive mess tbh. When I lost my rag with him - I never injured him, but came bloody close more than once - it was out of frustration. It was a reaction to his controlling, verbal & emotional abuse. I didn't know about those things then, so was easily persuaded that I was the crazy & abusive partner.

Please go see your doctor, get some meds AND COUNSELLING. Lundy Bancroft's book, "Why Does He Do That?" is an eye-opener. You'll be able to see where you fit in, and where he does.

Chrisdaddy, do you reckon it's okay to bring a vulnerable child into this war-zone of a relationship? D'you think it might be worth looking at how you deal with things, instead of making excuses for it?

ItsGrace I could have wrote the second paragraph of your post myself. Since H died my 'craziness' has disappeared.

Both OP and Chrisdaddy, you very quickly need to concentrate upon sorting yourselves out and if you can't live together live seperately and both take proper adult responsibility for yout DD, or you will ruin her life

Op are you ok?

i think writing on a thread your partner has come to for impartial support is an example of very controlling behaviour. in a relationship you need space to breath. confiding in anonymous people on an internet forum should be something a partner respects. people need space to understand how they feel about things sometimes. of course she is only going to write from "her side". so what?

This is NOT a healthy relationship. OP, you don't have to live like this.