Some people know my story, been with him a few years now and gone through an awful amount of verbal and emotional abuse (control etc) the peak of which happened just before Christmas this year and I said no more. We have two DCS one of which has spn so me leaving the home is not an option due to school and therapy for my son.
Anyway, after Christmas and the spell of me avoiding him sleeping in seperate rooms putting the foot down and avoiding the trying to charm me every five minutes. He crumbled one evening into this whol "Ive benn in denial" business.
I knew at the time this would probably not last I'm not an eejit. I guess I've been trying to buy myself time in a way as I'm not quite ready to get the f-- out.Why? Well because I'm fing terrifed of the fallout to be honest. Terrifed of him.
And I am starting to realise why.
This evening a nice evening in front of the television turned into a discussion about a guy from where i used to live and how this guy had stolen my wallet or handbag and I had told him about it . I was a bit taken aback as I don't recall anyone I know ever having stolen anything belonging to me, amd I Think I would remember! HE specifically named a guy that was a friend of another and yet I still had no idea what he was talking about.
In fact the guy in question was a bit of a lunatic on the drink but totally harmless and a very good friend of my friends if you know what i mean and there was no way in hell this guy ever stole from that I wouldnt have remembered!
I said to OH that there was a guy I had been seeing for a few weeks long before I met him who I had had my suspicions about (him and his friend) when my handbag had gone missing at a party and after they had comforted me for an hour over the money and personal items I had lost (pic of my son etc) they suddenly came up with the money between them to make me feel better because "they didn't need it being single men"
I explained maybe he had heard me talk about this and got confused.
No! No I am apparently a disgusting liar and worse so because apparently I never mentioned this man that I had dated twice before I met him !!
So, after OH had ranted at me that i was obviously a LIAR and what else had I lied about I actually started to laugh. What else could I do. I mean. This is ridiculous. I can't believe I practically fell for his "I'm in denial about who I am" shit.
I can't believe I seriously think there is hope for him to be normal. This is amazingly deluded shit. If I had ever said that to him I surely would remember!
Absolute craziness. I'm glad I've a few in me right now because strangely I feel very calm in the fact that I know he is actually quite mad.