Oh crikey I can't face Christmas..

[CreepyJess]

..the logistics of the family get-together... I actually CAN'T face it! It's always a nightmare and this year, people are not speaking to each other! I want to run away with DH and the kids and 'do Christmas' somewhere else! I actually said this half-seriously to my mother and she said, as could be predicted, 'but what about ME?'

Sigh.

What are others with nightmare, high-maintenance family members doing?

I used to love Christmas

is your sister any better?

sounds awful, a bit like our family christmas's. luckily (luckily!!!) I have to work all over christmas this year so have a perfect excuse to do sweet FA

How about letting them think Xmas is as usual, ask them to bring a dish.
Then when they all turn up, say Happy Christmas, have fun - we're off!
Then go and have fun elsewhere

Spagblog, lol! 'Turn up with a dish'...lol.. they would know something was seriously amiss.. nobody turns up here with a dish.. DH has led everyone to believe that THIS is the place to come to get fed.. (and it is usually.. he cooks willingly!)

Fio.. did I know you worked??! Where is my brain? Surely I know this..

Just to show the other side of the coin, I'm actually a bit of all the logistics of the family get togethers at Xmas. When was married, I used to quite enjoy it all, as I grew up with only immediate family around.

Now, xmas will jsut be me, dp and the kids, my family live 200 miles away, and his don't want to know us. Half the fun of xmas is the chaos of fitting all the relatives in!

Yes I do see what you mean Kelly and for years I have lived the illusion of a lovely family Christmas in front of a roaring fire etc.. right up until Christmas day when it all goes pear-shaped.. that's if i could even get them all here..(but I have to because the alternative is for them to sit miserably at home..)

But experience has shown me that Christmas just isn't like I have always hoped it will be - not in my family.

Can you not do the 200 mile trip? When we lived up North we always used to come down south (260 miles) for Christmas (they were a bit less dysfunctional then!)

CJ x

Fio re sister... she is up and down. Until last week she had been staying with us for a while and had been much better (I'm talking depression here not her medical condition which is not too bad at the moment) but then she phoned and resigned up from her job.. which she and I had discussed and agreed as the best course of action - and this sent her right down into the depression pit of depression again and nothing I said made any difference.. and I just couldn't handle her laying in bed (in DD's room!) all day.. even ignoring the kids who don't understand depression! - and I asked her to go back to mum's so she stropped off and now won't speak to me. Back to square one and I feel guilty but I am not a depression counsellor.. (topical!).. and don't always know how to deal with her!

I have emailed and texted to apologise and tell her she is always welcome here.. but no answer. She is supposed to be watching DS and DD swim in club championships tonight and DD is expecting her to be there! And she was coming to Guys with me next week re the bloody MRI/general anaesthetic which I am dreading.... ... ah well.

oh no creepyjess, that is so sad

could they not organise the MRI locally? i put my foot down and refused to go to Guys so we are having ours done at the K&C. i hope it all goes well for you all. I will be thinking of your little one.

i am sure, given time your sister will get better. it is so frustrating though when you have to watch and you have enough on your plate without your sisiter taking it out on you. it seems really selfish of her but i suppose she doesnt know what she is doing and there are you in the middle

Jess, last year I had planned to have the family holiday gathering at my house. In fact, two members asked me if I would host it. Two months before my brother flounced and refused to come because I asked him to (finally!) repay a long overdue debt. I wound up hosting half the family instead and had a lovely time. It made me realize that I really don't need a big family "do" to have a nice time.

I really like the idea of winning a vacation. Let them fend for themselves for once. It is not your job to ensure that they have a good Christmas. They need to take some responsibility for their own happiness.

Fio there has been much discussion about it but Dr Pohl has now spoken to both Alex's paed. (Dr. Parkes) and the one he was under at Ashford re the fits and told them he wants his team to handle the whole thing.. so I guess he has good reasons for this.

Yes am very frustrated and re sister.. but only privately. All she sees, normally, is patience and support from me even when I have to grit my teeth. Last week I just slipped..

Thanks Jaberwocky. Now all I need to do is win a holiday!

Oh, I misunderstood. I thought you were just going to pretend to win a holiday. Do they live far enough away you could get away with it?

No probs JW.. I's do that if I thought I could get away with it.. altho am a crap lier it has to be said..

Plenty of time to practice...

lol @ pretending to win a holiday.

I would travel up if we had somewhere to stay. 6 of us is a bit much though I suppose.

We had some chaotic christmases. MIl and several others were upposed to be comign to ours for xmas dinner one year. We got a bit drunk xmas eve and overslept. We pretended there had been a powercut and we hadn't got he turkey in and did a huge buffet instead. It backfired though - they said put the turkey in and we'll have it for tea instead. I was totally knackered after that!