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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you REALLY end up just like your mum?

48 replies

charliebat · 03/10/2005 13:51

Really couldnt stand being as bitter and twisted as her and make every effort to not be, but will I be regardless? Is that just the way it goes?

OP posts:
Kabsy · 03/10/2005 14:40

expatinscotland

Sounds like your MIL & mine could be related. She is living it up in Provence on permenant holiday and loads £ in the bank from her business sale. Not that I'm jealous.

Mind you wouldn't be married to her husband (not my FIL) for any money

suedonim · 03/10/2005 15:36

I sincerely hope not.

devilishboozo · 03/10/2005 15:39

If that means I'll be an twisted, bitter, grudge bearing old hag, then yes.

MrsSpoon · 03/10/2005 15:47

I love my Mum to bits but I really do try hard not to be too like her. She narks at my Dad almost constantly and I believe her to be slightly paranoid, believe this to be a symptom of her depression.

piffle · 03/10/2005 15:47

dp and I both utter simultaneously
I really really * (insert appropriate expletive/s from wide range available) hope not!

doormat · 03/10/2005 15:48

I hope not.

Fio2 · 03/10/2005 15:49

i frigging hope not too she drives me mental

RachD · 03/10/2005 15:57

My mum is so cool.
But when Dh says, 'you're so like your mum' - that really freeks me out because I don't want that.

Although if I was more like her in many ways, life would be so much easier.

But since her three children left home, she has become more and more "twee" and I loudly proclaim that however much I want to be more like her, my Dh and my BF must NEVER let me slip into the 'frilly doilly' stage.

My Dh and Bf think this is all hilarious, but have promised to never allow it.

aaaaahhh. The End !

MeerkatsUnite · 03/10/2005 16:02

I sincerely hope not!!.

milosmum · 03/10/2005 16:34

God i hope not!- my "mother" (used very loosly)- was a complete waste of space, dont give a hoot about any of us or what was going on!

My mantra is to never be as heartless or as selfish as her.....

saltire · 03/10/2005 18:02

I've told my husband to tell me when i start turning into her. She really , really does my head in. I love her to bits though. It's silly wee things that annoy me - she phones every day, and asks the most amazingly stupid questions. For example
"The house is very quiet, where is everyone" This is when she rings at 9.30am on a school day.
Or
"I phoned before and you weren't in, where were you?" giving an obvious response such as "Out" doesn't stop her, she has to know where, who with, what time we left, how long it took to get there, and what we did. She finishes off by asking if we took the kids! I usually respond by saying "No, we left them at home/in the cupboard/garden/locked in bedroom. Every conversation is finished with
"Tell x granny loves him", "Tell him now so i can hear". Then tell Y Granny loves him. Tell him again. What do you mean he never said anything, tell him again" and so it goes on, every single call, every single day!
She often phones to ask how i am, hows hubby, hows the kids, hows the dogs, then says bye.

Most of all though i don't want to be with my older kids how she is with my younger brother. He's 30 and still at home, and does nothing. On the odd occasions he works, she gets up at 6am to make his breakfast, make his packed lunch,etc. If he doesn't feel likegoing into work(which is almost a daily occurence) she phones in for him. He is diabetic, has been since he was 3,and until recently she even used to fill his insulin into the syringe for him.
She has never worked since i was born, and when my other brother and i left home people used to ask why she couldn't go out to work and her reply was that she had a "child" at home to look after. She never goes anywhere if she can't be back by 4pm every afternoon so can cook tea.

I could go on ,and on and on, sorry if i have rambled a bit, but my husband never listens when i moan about my mum and it was good to start getting it off my chest. So no I hope i don't turn into my mum.

Dropinthe · 03/10/2005 18:21

Have already started a thread about this-the answer is an emphatic NO!!

But in RL-you probably do!

spidermama · 03/10/2005 18:24

I'm heading there.
That's ok by me because my mum's great, with one or two spectacularly crap bits.

Socci · 03/10/2005 18:25

Message withdrawn

Socci · 03/10/2005 19:10

Message withdrawn

MusicLover · 03/10/2005 19:17

they say history repeats itself though. I def see my mum in me-god forbid

SherlockLGJ · 03/10/2005 19:29

Haven't read this thread, but I jolly well hope so, my Mum is mad and wonderful,a good influence, a bad influence,(she incites my sis and I to have a ciggy when we are out on a girlies)None of us smoke in RL.

She is taking my sis and I to Prague for a long weekend because she thinks Motherhood is the hardest job in the world.

She fusses over my Sis and I, when ever she gets the chance.

Found the money for all three of to have our teeth straightened 20 years ago when it was only available privately and cost £20 per visit per child, still don't know how she did it.

Yet she manages to lead a very full life.

Bowling

Sings opera

Supports her friends when it is required, socialises with them when it is not.

My Mum is bloody marvellous and I want everyone to know.

pumpkincarrier · 03/10/2005 19:44

she sounds lovely LJG. I hope my dd says the same thing about me when she is on MN in 20 years time ( at that thought)
me, I'm turning into my dad...

Tortington · 03/10/2005 19:58

hope not - that would mean i will end up a clinically paranoid
stop looking at me!

KBear · 03/10/2005 20:03

My mum is the kindest person I know - if only I had half her patience... She sees the good in everyone (even if there's only a tiny bit of good to see), she's been the best mum a girl could wish for and I hope that I can support my kids as much as she's supported and helped me.

She's grrrreat.

charliebat · 04/10/2005 21:31

Well Today i could barely speak to her she was irritating me so much. I too sincerely hope not.

OP posts:
QueenVictoria · 04/10/2005 21:43

Custardo - sounds like we have the same mother!

My mum is totally mad, has a total sense of humour failure, totally paranoid, hates confrontation but very loose lipped behind peoples backs. We all confide stuff to our dad. Which she gives him no end of earache over!

We still love her though. Im not much like her (have one or two traits of course - unavoidable if you spend much of your early years with someone) and one of the things that irritates her about me is that i cannot stand bitching/picking people apart systematically and tell her off for it and i also speak as i find which she doesnt understand and cannot do at all.

She'd bend over backwards for us though if we were in need.

paolosgirl · 04/10/2005 22:04

I would like to be like my mum. She's lovely - one of these people that talks to everyone, eveyone warms to her, she's patient and kind, very non-judgmental and very content. I love her loads. Sadly, I appear to have taken more after my father - miserable git that he is .

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