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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being paranoid??

18 replies

TotorosOcarina · 04/01/2011 13:59

Have a lot of issues with my mother from childhood,
our relationship has been strained lately as everything, for me, has been resurfacing and she has (a lot of people have mentioned it to me too) reverted to her old behaviours due to a traumatic event I think.

Anyways after xmas we ended up having a big argument, well WE didn't, she upset me and DH stood up for me as I can't confront her, this led to her and my DH arguing and my dad saying he was going to 'get in his car' to see DH, this is the kind of stuff i have to deal with Hmm

Anyways PATHETIC as this may seem, i'm going to ask...

I was a veggie for years - i don't deal with meat well, so when i make a dinner, we do have meat but i have to use bisto gravy made up with veg stock as i can't have the gravy made from the fat and juice of a roast.

My mum knows this and is always saying how easy it is to make 'real' gravy.

she went to my sisters for new years tea,

we aren't speaking and she posted on her facebook

'so lovely having dinner with my family at new years, am so happy, thanks to (other DD) for making dinner, such lovely real gravy - non of that bisto shit'

Is that a dig at me??

or have i just been so upset at her that im imagining it??

I just don't see WHY she would mention the gravy at all TBH!!

OP posts:
TotorosOcarina · 04/01/2011 14:03

and I know what you will say about FB etc... but i only have family on there and its usually calm!

it may seem a really silly thing but im really hurt at themoment at her behaviour anyways.

OP posts:
droves · 04/01/2011 14:14

Id say it was a dig . Sad

There is nothing wrong with bisto btw ....most people use it now and again.

JaquiChanWillSparkle · 04/01/2011 14:19

Totoros, so sorry you have to put up with this shit. Yes, it was a dig, your mum sounds like she's a teenager, sorry. Good on your dh for sticking up for you.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 04/01/2011 14:22

Oh of course it was a dig!! I'll bet you'll say that throughout your life, she regularly played one sibling off against the other and that she regularly displays passive-aggressive behaviour like this?

droves · 04/01/2011 14:30

actually just noticed the bisto add on mn .

Grin

aside from that , have you seen the stately homes threads ? you might find it supportive
Smile

ItsGraceAgain · 04/01/2011 14:39

Yes, it's a dig. Are you the family scapegoat/blame-donkey?

Consuela39 · 04/01/2011 17:00

'I only have family on there'

Well who needs a load of rowdy, bitchy teenagers when you have your Mum!

I'm so sorry TO, it may have been an unthinking dig or she might even have meant it to be funny Hmm which it isn't, but I can't see why she would write that other than to get at you. Or someone else she actually dislikes for using Bisto? Can you think of anyone?

She sounds at best utterly thoughtless and immature, (can't imagine my own mother using the word 'shit' in a casual sense nor yet being on facebook) and at worst absolutely cruel and despicable. Does she have a personality disorder?

I'm so sorry for you.

TotorosOcarina · 04/01/2011 19:02

well at least i can rule out paranoia!

OP posts:
TotorosOcarina · 04/01/2011 19:41

I think she probably has got a personality disorder,

thing is after being brought up by her and with her behaviour i have to fight myself not to be like or or mirror her behaviour because i refuse to be like her.

she was extreme though, agressive and violent

i will never be like that with my children :(

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 04/01/2011 19:47

Who cares what their motivations are? They are vile, and aggressive to boot. You don't need them in your lives. Withdraw from them. Either defriend them from facebook or just don't use it, and attend as few family functions as possible. Don't spend Christmas with them. Be free!

TotorosOcarina · 04/01/2011 19:49

Lol, its not like that unfortunatly.
we do get along most of the time but if anything happens shes so aggressive.

i can't cut her out of my life or the kids lives, lifes too short.

OP posts:
molemesseskilledIpom · 04/01/2011 19:51

Nowt wrong with Bisto. You cant make real thick gravy well from Sausage and mash.

tallwivglasses · 04/01/2011 19:53

'i will never be like that with my children' - well that's the main thing. It's amazing how much we learn how not to parent from our parents!

Next time just breeeathe...and Grin !

TheProvincialLady · 04/01/2011 20:27

Oh fair enough, I thought she was like that constantly.

Lifegoeson · 04/01/2011 22:31

Deffo a dig sadly...

Hope you never invite her for dinner again! - Or at least for a long time!

SurreyAmazon · 04/01/2011 23:04

No you are not paranoid. That was a very overt dig at you and to put it on FB is quite childish behaviour in my opinion. It is new year, so focus on the good things going on in your life.

Hugs,

SA

McHobbes · 04/01/2011 23:08

Reply

'I fucking love Bisto me! Glad you enjoyed your meal! xxx'

Signed The Bisto Kid.

Ps Bisto is lovely!

droves · 05/01/2011 00:13

or " ahh Bisto ! if its good enough for lynda bellingham ....Wink. "

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