Me and DP have been together over 3 years now. In the beginning of the relationship, he was still friends with his ex. I didn't have a problem with this, as I know that some people are just better as friends than more. He was always open about his friendship with her, and it was purely phone/email as she lives on the other side of the country now. However, at the time, I found out that the way they would talk to one another, was very much as if something was still going on. The things he would say to her still make me feel physically sick even now. At the time, he had said he didn't realise what it seemed like, and very sorry. He said he had always spoke to her the way he did in that way. I reminded him that they had broken up so what excuse do they have to be flirty and talk as if they were still a couple. She wanted him to go see her.
DP was very sorry for the way he was, and tbh I believed him when he said he didn't realise. My close friends (who are my friends and know DP iykwim) felt the same way and thought DP wouldn't do anything intentional to hurt me. DP cut all ties from her to prove that I meant more to him than she did and that she didn't mean anything to him anymore. I admittedly checked his emails a few times after this to make sure he kept to his word, and he did. She had also contacted him a few times asking why he wouldn't speak to her, but he ignored her, but told me when she did get in contact.
After a while, she emailed me asking me if things were okay. I ignored this, as I felt it wasn't my place to tell her that DP had cut ties with her. She eventually stopped.
However, nearly two years on, out of the blue I got an email from her asking if DP was okay, and if I could let her know. This was through Facebook, where my profile pic is one of me, DP and DD so obviously she knows we're still together. DP, who doesn't use Facebook much, logged on this morning and found a friends request from her. He said to me that he thought it was pretty random, which I agree. But then he said to me "I do hope you're over this." Now I was fine with it, but that comment really bugged me. Since this all happened, I haven't mentioned her once, or really given her a seconds thought. He just annoyed me with it.
I now also don't know what to do about her. Do we just ignore her again and hope she'll just go away again to just pop up again in the future? I really wanted DP to just tell her the truth back when it all first happened, and just say that he was going to cut ties with her. He told me to delete the message she sent me but I haven't yet. I just don't know what to do. Because when she crops up, all those old feelings and memories of what we went through come up, and makes me feel sick.
So, as well as venting, what would you do? Would you tell DP to tell her to back off, or message her yourself, or just leave it alone again?