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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

WWYD?

3 replies

Kirk1 · 03/01/2011 17:23

I am pregnant with DC3, after a significant gap. DH and I kept it to ourselves for a long time (Only told DC at end of term) but now we have started telling people, he's put the news up as a facebook status, so it's not a secret. I have told my Father and my foster family (long story, really) but haven't been able to contact birth mother, nor have I really tried to contact my Sister.

I'm expecting that at some point Father will get around to telling my sister, but I don't feel I want to make any effort to tell her. I feel I want to tell her, but when she had her DS, I found out she was pregnant when I dropped everything to support her and father when my Stepmother died, and she never bothered to tell me when he was born either. What I don't want to do is to make more effort towards either of them (Sis or Mother) since I seem to be an afterthought in their lives - or possibly in the case of M, no thought at all...

However, just putting it on my facebook status where they should both see it seems cold and I was wondering which way I'm being silly - undersensitive towards them (they are my blood, after all) or oversensitive (they don't seem to give much of a flying fuck towards me)

So, What would you do? Put off Facebooking the news until I've spoken to them, or fuck it and pretend they're not important?

OP posts:
canyou · 03/01/2011 17:30

Congratulations Grin what fabulous news to share at the start of the new year.
Would you private msg her a day or so before you put up the status?
You are being thoughtful and considerate which it seems they may not be but don't change who you are [a nice, kind thoughtful person] because of their actions.
If you feel better telling them before changing your status then text/ph or msg them and then enjoy your pregnancy.

Kirk1 · 03/01/2011 17:36

Blush I don't know if I'm kind and thoughtful, but I'm certainly worn out with being the only person in either relationship who ever makes any effort. I did message mother asking her to call me but have received no response. Not even a christmas card this year :(

I think I will attempt to speak to my Sis, she lives in France so it's always an expensive conversation, I think I'll just keep it to nice subjects! (there are a number of dangerous ones :P)

OP posts:
TheMonster · 03/01/2011 17:37

I think you should tell her first, as you say you do want to.

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