DOES HE STILL FANCY ME

[suspiciouslady]

I have been with my bf for 11 months and we are expecting a baby together. The problem is he just doesnt seem to want me anymore. For I would say 5 weeks he has been getting more distant from me both physically emotionally.
We havenet had sex for 9 weeks but thats got alot to do with the fact he had his thingy pierced but thats healed now and still nothing.I have barely even been touched by him, yet once in a while he lays back in bed with his hands in the air wanting me to relieve him. Not very romantic. He has spent the last 5 weekends finding excuses to stay away all day and doesnt want to go out and do anything with me like he used to.I can never get hold of him when he out and that annoys me as everyone else seems to be able to. We just dont talk like before.I know sex aint everything in a relationship but I do feel so rejected and unattractive now.
How can I get things back on track?? Any ideas and advice would be so much appreciated as i have never had this problem myself.

Have you tried talking to him about this? The way you describe it, it sounds awful!!!

What would also worry me is that you haven't had the baby yet and that's when things get really hard. The tiredness and emotional turmoil you will experience can test the toughest of relationships.

i would talk to him about how you are feeling. If he is not up to the journey ahead then you are better off knowing now and not later.

I would try reading through this thread about early parenthood.

For me, it would be less about the sex and much more about the lack of intimacy and support you are feeling. You sound like you need much more closeness and honesty in the relationship.

Maybe he's unsure of sex whilst you're pg?
Maybe you're a bit hormonal and moody and thats putting him off?
Maybe he's scared of being a parent? You havent been together v long for either of you to get your heads round being parents.
Maybe he's tired from working overtime to save up for baby things?

You need to sit down and have a long hard talk. He's probably panicking a bit about fatherhood and yes, lots of men do have issues around sex with pregnant women. But you need his support - or at least you need to know if you're not going to get his support. He needs to be fair to you and tell you what's going on in his head, and then you can work from there.

was the baby planned?
Are you together or just casual?

I'm sorry but it sounds as if you need to talk this through and IMO he just doesn't sound ready for fatherhood.
Are you both quite young?

thanks for all replies.I have tried talking to him yes but he just dismisses it as me being paranoid and doesnt take me seriously.
Its not so much the sex but the lack of intamacy yes.The baby was not planned as he thought he was infertile but was a happy surprise. We are in a proper relationship and im 31 and hes 37. He has a daughter froma previous relationship and i already ahve 2 of my own.
He was scared of having sex at first but then was ok with it. Its just no kissing and no touching at all now so its like im living with a friend or something.

At least this isn't your first child thern...you know what to expect!!

You do need to talk to him though, and try to make him listen! Or perhaps (old fashioned) write him a letter so that you can plan carefully what you wany to say and how you want it said.

well im hoping to get him out later for a meal as we havent been out or done anything together since novemeber. He just never seems to want to go out with me for some reason.

Are you sure the pregnancy was a happy surprise on his side because he doesn't seem to be acting like it is.

What do you know about the timeframe / reasons he split up with the mother of his daughter? Had they been together long, was she planned, did he leave in his DD's infancy, was he unfaithful etc.

Reasons for the problems / end of his previous relationship may give you some clues to his current behaviour with you.

yeah defintiley,he is so into this baby.
his daughter is 15 now and they split up when she was about 3 because the relationship broke down and she had an affair. She was planned yes. He wasnt unfaithful to her as far as I know.
Good point though,maybe there are things going on in his head.

Maybe he feels a bit differently about you because you are carrying his child (madonna thing) or just doesn't find pregnant women very attractive. However, this would not really explain not wanting to go out together if that's what you usually do and you are feeling up to it.