sex life is turning into a disaster please help...

[NotInTheMood]

I really have no libido or desire for sex even though i want to in my head.I have all these sexy thoughts in my head but its like i cannot act them out as I don't feel anything. Its as if someone has cut off the flow down there and i have no feelings of wanting to have sex.Dh always has to initiate sex and tries to get me aroused during foreplay sometimes i do but other times i just can't. I find myself not being able to relax or switch off and more often id rather go to sleep. If we do make it to intercourse i sometimes get bored or find its just not happening for me and wanting it to hurry up.Sometimes dh does hit the spot and then changes direction (someties to stop himself) and then its all over

A few times lately ive actually pushed dh off me as i just can't do it and its taking so long for him to orgasm and i haven't even come anywhere near.I just wan to get that horniness back again and feel sexy and turned on so that maybe I can iniate and make time for sex. So i can mabye enjoy it and orgasm in staed of finidng it a chore.We had a great sex life before children and dh is always up for it and willing to please.

anyone????

hi
i didn't want to read and run not sure if your a stay at home mum but i find being in the house all he time can be a bit of a turn off as you cant really turn off because unlike thouse who go out and work your in your work place so have constant reminders of things you have to do have you thought about getting a babysitter and going out on a few "dates" so to speak and ask a trusted friend or relative to have your dc's over night and break away with your other half if not to be intimate at least to have quality alone time
the only other thing else i could possibly suggest is to speak to your dh and just tell him how hard it is for you to switch off and relax and between you come up with some ideas to try and relax you but at 1st it wuld be best to concentrate on actually relaxing as worrying about what may be an expected end result can lead to "stage fright"
i hope this helps
hugs to you x

it's also worth talking to your GP. it can be that there is a deep-down relationship issue, feelings of resentment towards dp etc (i.e. the source of your problem is a mental one) or it could be hormonal as well. (i.e. biological).

I know many many many women who took a loooong time to get back in the 'mood' after having kids. How are are your two?

I reckon keep talking about it with DP and if you can, be giving towards him, even if you aren't getting off on it.

You might want to consider exploring other ideas which could be turn ons. As we get older our bodies, turn-ons and needs change. (I personally have found the internet a useful source of inspiration )

Keep talking about it though. Maybe try different times of the day. I know I am in the mood when I first go to bed, but not an hour later when DP comes to bed.