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Original poster

Would you be upset with your DH if...

26 replies

Veronikaash · 31/12/2010 12:01

....your babysitter cancel on last day (New Year Eve) and your DH decide to go out with out you as there is no one else available to look after your children?
We didn't plan noting special, only to go to central London, see some firework....
I told DH that we could go all of us to church or stay at home ..do some firework in the garden. But he said some of his friend are already involved, so he will go to central London with his friends.
Am really upset with him,why he didn't choose to stay with me!?
Am I being unreasonable?? Hmm

OP posts:
roundtable · 31/12/2010 12:07

No you are not. What a selfish sod. Deadlock the doors so he can't get in or get up and go out early in the morning so the children are all his when he's not feeling his best.

FrostyAndSlippery · 31/12/2010 12:11

YANBU! Nothing wrong with spending NYE separately but not as you'd already planned to spend it together.

I agree that you should go out early tomorrow and leave him to babysit with a hangover!

Original poster
Veronikaash · 31/12/2010 12:14

thanks ladies....and where would I go tomorrow morning??Hmm

OP posts:
nannynobblystockingnobs · 31/12/2010 12:17

YANBU! I'd be furious. Why is it you that automatically has to stay in? Why couldn't he have stopped in and you gone to see fireworks? Arse.

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 31/12/2010 12:20

www.sitters.co.uk

Get another sitter or at least propose it (it will be expensive), watch his face pale at the 100 quid cost and then say puzzledly "Why do you get to go and I have to stay in?" Xmas Hmm

QueenStromba · 31/12/2010 12:22

Don't deadlock the doors especially not in this weather. My friend's girlfriend has done this to him and the first time he had to spend the whole night wandering around on night buses because his phone battery had died so he couldn't call anyone and the second time he kicked the door in.

Your DH is being a selfish ass but rather than getting passive aggressive you should tell him that you'd much rather he stayed home but if he really insists on going out he has to make it up to you.

ChaoticAngel · 31/12/2010 12:23

I like Laurie's idea Grin

yama · 31/12/2010 12:27

He just wouldn't do that.

Don't know what to suggest.

Original poster
Veronikaash · 31/12/2010 13:00

Good idea Laurie Grin,
I already know that he will not pay up to £100 Smile

OP posts:
susiedaisy · 31/12/2010 13:05

he is being a selfish pratt, my soon to be ex husband did this sort of thing to me all the time and honestly thought i was being way too picky when i tried to explain how unfair it was, what mood would he be in if you really really persuaded him to stay in together and he actually did?

TheVisitor · 31/12/2010 13:07

He's not treating you as an equal, is he? I'd be extremely pissed off.

LittleMissHootsMon · 31/12/2010 13:08

This is going to be a deal breaker for you, does he know what the implications of his selfishness are going to be?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 31/12/2010 13:08

I would be utterly furious at the assumption that because the babysiterr had cancelled it it was me that had to stay in. Why not at the very least toss a coin - but far better to get a bottle of wine in and have a lovely cost evenying together and let the new Year in with Jules Holland (is he still on the TV? )

I would also be worried if this was a general attitude and not just a one off.

FakePlasticTrees · 31/12/2010 13:14

See, our plans have been cancelled and no babysitter (or spare £100 to get one) so DH has just suggested he'll go get some nice food, and have a quiet one.

OP - your DH is an arse.

Original poster
Veronikaash · 31/12/2010 13:16

I will not beg him to stay in, cos am not ready to see his upset face all night.
If he goes out..he will get sweet and hard pay back Grin (not sure what kind of pay back yet lol)

OP posts:
FakePlasticTrees · 31/12/2010 13:20

have you suggested tossing a coin to see who gets to go out, as you don't see why it should be a given that you stay in and he is the one who gets to go out?

(and you could always just go out for an hour and then come home as you wanted to kiss him at midnight Grin )

Original poster
Veronikaash · 31/12/2010 13:21

fakeP:...I wish my DH say the same
We didn't talk since lunch time, he went to gym and I packed our DD with him too.
So now am waiting if he does or doesn't change his mind?

OP posts:
carrotcake29 · 31/12/2010 13:30

Yes this would annoy me immensely. THis kinda happened to me a few weeks ago - me and oh were going out with work friends for dinner (deposits paid etc) and then babysitter cancelled last minute. I asked him to get us a takeaway and movie and he said he was going anyway - no sense in losing his deposit as well. Cheeky fucker. I told him but didn't make much difference....

Original poster
Veronikaash · 31/12/2010 13:39

carrotcake: did you go out with out him another time? or just ignored it this time?

OP posts:
carrotcake29 · 31/12/2010 13:48

We didnt go out together. He even had another xmas night out planned but I asked him to cancel so that I could go to an xmas house party with my friends. He did cancel. I was upset thought. I am also wondering what tonight will bring because for the last years he has been upstairs on his computer for the New Year coming in. Wow my marriage sounds rubbish.

SantasENormaSnob · 31/12/2010 15:35

I would be livid.

YunoYurbubson · 31/12/2010 15:45

What an asshole. Our plans have been buggered because I'm ill. I told dh he was very welcome to go to the party without me, but he said he'd order curry and stay home with me. You're supposed to be together on nye.

teahouse · 31/12/2010 16:59

My Ex used to go out frequently leaving me to babysit - it was always the same people he went to see but one of them was his OW and now his wife.

My ex treated me terribly; used to make me walk to catch a bus to work even when I was 8 months pregnant whilst he laid in bed and drove in an hour later!

I wouldn't now put up with this - I was very naive and bought all the excuses as I thought the loved me.

If the sitter has cancelled then you should both stay in; your child is the responsibility of you both and it is unreasonable that he goes out and has fun leaving you alone on NYE's.

susiedaisy · 31/12/2010 17:12

yeah i agree with teahouse.

saffy85 · 31/12/2010 18:48

Can you get ready uber quickly and escape before he does tonight? crash a house party while he stays in with the DC?

Failing that go out early somewhere tomorrow and leave him to take care of DC with stinking hangover is best idea, don't matter where. selfish git Angry

I strongly advise not locking him out. I did this once to DP (I was 8 months pregnant and hormonal... and furious that a "quick pint" turned into an all night bender when he was meant to take me out!) and lets just say I hadn't realised how expensive front doors are to fix when a drunken oaf smashes the lock in to open it.