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Relationships

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Original poster

So today I will become one of those B**tard men

16 replies

nnallc · 31/12/2010 07:42

Well 2 years I have been with my girlfriend and today I will tell her I have given up and it is over. So now I guess I will be classed as one of those evil men :-)

We are both widows and the trials and tribulations of trying to cope with that and start a relationship with kids in tow is just to much.

I had not arranged anything for New Years Eve as we were going to spend a quiet night in and actually see each other over the christmas period. However yesterday I got a call. Sorry but I am not going to come on New Year, my daughter won't come over to yours so I am not going to bother.

What is the point of having a relationship if you manage it this way. It happens so often.

Therefore I am out and will now become one of those official nasty men. Yet I too will be sat in my sad widows life staring at the telly on my own on New Years Eve....... How sad a life I lead

OP posts:

CarGirl · 31/12/2010 07:47

Perhaps neither of you were actually ready, or your dc weren't ready?

Sounds horrible for both of you, like you say 2 years invested but haven't really got anywhere......

proudnscaryvirginmary · 31/12/2010 07:47

What response are you after here...?!

StealthPolarBear · 31/12/2010 07:49

I don't think anyone would class you as a nasty man for ending a relationship that isn't working for either of you. Has someone been saying something to you in real life?
Sorry to hear this btw - you have obviously been through a lot

HollyGoHeavily · 31/12/2010 07:50

Why does ending a relationship that isn't working make you a bastard???? As long as you are honest with your girlfriend and tell her it is over and why it just makes you a human being fixing a problem.

Enjoy a quiet NYE and then find someone else more suitable for you in 2011.

Original poster

nnallc · 31/12/2010 07:57

im not after any response, just writing and sharing.

No I guess it does not make me a bast**d but I feel like it. I know my kids will be upset to as my daughter really gets on with her daughter. But ho hum.....

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 31/12/2010 08:01

How old are your children - are they young or adults?

StealthPolarBear · 31/12/2010 08:02

actually - do you just have the one?
Can you arrange a last min meal out for the 2 of you? Or to see some friends or family? Or plan some DVDs and silly games for tonight?

Blatherskite · 31/12/2010 08:15

Usually I'd say dumping someone on NYE was quite a bastardy thing to do - but not in this case.

It sounds like she's already made the decision tbh

for you

Original poster

nnallc · 31/12/2010 08:18

We have two kids each. No chance of going out, no baby sitter and that would really just cause more problems with the kids.Anyway not sure the conversation we need to have is suitable for a restaurant!

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 31/12/2010 08:26

No I meant going out with your kids, as it sounds like you are worried NYE will be miserable for them

merryxmaswidow · 31/12/2010 08:26

how long have you been widowed?

Original poster

nnallc · 31/12/2010 08:36

3.5 years

OP posts:

BelleDameSansMerci · 31/12/2010 08:42

How very sad for you both. Could you take the children out today and just have some fun with them?

I know it's not much fun staying in on NYE but if you've had a good day with the children, it may feel a little more do-able.

droves · 31/12/2010 21:17

You dont sound like a bastard man .
You sound like a very nice man , whos just sad , because youve came to a difficult decision.

Some relationships fizzle out , other end with a bang . Doesnt make the person who ends it bad .Actually it is kinder to end it if its not working. Be kind to yourself.

Oh , and its ok to be sad that the relationship is over , even if you ended it.

3.5 years ,since you lost your wife. (im sorry for that). Its not a long time , you probably still havent healed from losing her.

You need to focus on yourself for a little.

LesAnimaux · 31/12/2010 21:22

OK, so if you've been with your girlfriend 2 years and it's not working then move on.

And despite wheat the media might lead you to believe sitting in along on NYE is not so tragic.

If you found your soul mate once, what make you think you will find another special person so quickly?

lazarusinNazareth · 01/01/2011 16:39

I once ended a relationship just before Christmas. I had intended to wait and do it in the New Year but in the end I couldn't face dragging it out over Christmas. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, the relationship had been over for a long time in reality before I ended it. I hope you are ok.

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