DP's priorities

[canihaveabiscuit]

DP and I live a 90-minute drive away from each other but spend most weekends together. We've been doing this for a couple of years; I put up with it, he's happy, but generally it works ok.

We spent Christmas separately with our elderly parents so I was really looking forward to spending a week with him after Christmas - this is the only time we can do this each year. However, he promised to help a colleague move house after Christmas and he's now going to be just 3 or 4 days. He was meant to be here 2 days ago but there's still no sign of him; I've not given him his presents (which I'm now tempted to take back!) and I spent the last 2 nights feeling so lonely and rejected. He thinks I'm melodramatic and demanding. Am I? I don't know how to deal with this.

So, he was meant to be at yours 2 days ago. Have you spoken to him in that time?

Hmm.

Sounds like he has a more casual outlook on your relationship.

Its not that you are melodramatic or demanding but that you want different type of relationship maybe ?

Often its a case of being content with whats on offer from a partner or drawing a line and being strong enough to say you want more and walk away it you cant have it.

This is not easy and why I remain single a year on from my split because I am not at a place where I would walk away I would hang on hoping for change.

'You put up with it'???? Why??? You don't sound happy in this relationship?? (And I speak as someone who's partner lives a 45 minute drive away. We have two DCs together and I am more than happy with the arrangement although in reality he does spend most of his time at mine.)

However if you're not happy you need to establish what it is you want and if he can't/doesn't want to provide it then you can finish it and move on.

You don't want to be in the same position in 10 years time and realise that life has passed you by??

I feel really sad for you, how awful. You know you deserve better than this, don't you? It doesn't sound like you're happy with the arrangements, so maybe dump him and find someone else who's a bit more, erm, available?

Sorry to hear. what gettingeasier said.

I would 100% cut your losses. To be brutal, there is no way he is committed or even particularly bothered about you. Seriously, think about it. Flog the presents, or keep them, look to the new year and find someone who thinks you are fucking fabulous ;-)

Yes, why don' you pull back and refocus. If he wants you he will come and find you. I even wonder whether this guy is juggling another interest w=as well and having to split his time. Regardless, think you should just focus on you