Can someone explain this to me?

[backagain5]

Why is it that when you like someone and are nice to them, they walk all over you, and then when you are a little bit aloof and distant, they are keen as mustard, and it can even happen with the same person. Why also has it taken me more than 24 years to discover this? And no, I'm not 24 now, believe me

Sounds like typical push/pull behaviour to me.

The more you push some men away the keener they become. Been there, done that. Men like that are worth the hassle.

Because nobody is being honest about their needs?

If they're walking all over you when you're nice to them surely that's not a great sign... having to play games to get someone interested isn't the best foundation for a relationship, really.

I wonder if it's that they like the thrill of the chase, and then when they have you already they have to push some boundaries so they start walking over you instead?

Jesus wept, I obv meant to say men like that are not worth the hassle

Time for bed after such a foolish typo

It's just making my life too complicated. I wasn't playing games, I genuinely decided that I was going to put space between me and a particular man, only to find that he's acting like a love-sick puppy. He's ok as a friend but seems to be suddenly a bit too keen. Don't want anything like that and yes I have told him this more than once!

I wish i knew the answer op!

imo it used to be easier and fairly simple, in my youth, you liked each other and started a relationship, or you didn't!

Also, whats with the type of convo i have had

him-'yep, all men are the same, can't trust any of them'

me ( not wanting to go there)
'yeah you're right'

him-'oh, what even me?'

me-'god you're the one fishing here, and starting this'

wtf is THAT. passive prompting? stupid testing?

Oh no piratecat, you want to steer clear, the ones who talk like that about "all men" or "most men" are often hugely entitled and expect to be adored just for the simple fact that they don't treat women like complete shit. He'll probably treat you alright, but he'll want constant recognition and praise for it.

yes it's like a weird recognition thing, its so pathetic.

thing is those that say that normally do end up treating you like shite don't they.

If a man says that all men are untrustworthy - he is untrustworthy (and wrong). He will expect praise and special treatment for not benig as shit as "most men".

If a man walks a over you when you are nice to him - he is not a nice person. He is a person who wants to walk all over you. If he starts being ncie to you when you become more distant it is only to get you back so he can walk over you som more.

yep. i never came into contact with such a man till lately. it's new to me. am 42 so maybe i have been blessed??

I just don't understand. Happy new year to you all by the way, and thanks for your responses. My new year's resolution is to speak my mind, should get rid of the game players anyway!