I feel like my relationship with my DH is falling apart.
I have a difficult relationship with my BIL who I feel has been insensitive and rude to DH and I on a number of occasions. He, his wife and daughter (9 days older than my DD) live a long drive away as do my PIL, over the past year BIL and whole family have come across to visit us on at least 4 occasions for at least 4/5 days (mainly because PIL are also visiting), we went on holiday with BIL and PIL for the third time in 4 years, DH, DD and I went across to visit them in October 2009 for 4 days and for 5 days in May, we have also had numerous weekends with BIL and SIL over the past couple of years. Last week BIL, SIL, DN and their dog (who my husband said could come without consulting me) came to visit for 6 days; at the same time my PIL were visiting for 9 days and my other BIL was visiting too.
During this visit I feel that my BIL was very rude to my DH (I often feel he is very condescending to my DH) and then very rude to me. He and my SIL then took themselves out for a 3 course lunch, despite the fact that they knew I was preparing dinner and then did not want to eat the food I had prepared. I went out of my way to prepare food to their timetable whilst they were visiting - we always eat before our DD goes to bed, they eat later - so we ate later and prepared lunch and dinner (2 courses) for 6 adults every day for the week.
My BIL and SIL left on Christmas Eve and I was not very happy with them, DH knows this. My BIL has not apologised to me or (more importantly) to DH for being rude to him. I really do not want to speak to him, I don't think I can be civil. DH is annoyed with me about this.
My DH feels like he is stuck in the middle and I feel like he is putting his family first all the time. He has made a number of decisions (like agreeing to go on holiday with his family) despite knowing that I am not happy with them and doesn't see what the problem is with this. I admit that I can be frustrating to live with but I feel like time and time again, he makes decisions that are based around what his family wants, not what I want or need at that time.
I just don't feel like he cares as much about me as his family and I don't know if I want to be with someone who I feel does not put me and our DD first. I love him so much that this is breaking my heart but the constant interaction with his family is making me miserable.
Any suggestions/ideas?