dp and premature ejaculation, help?

[shatteredmumsrus]

me and dp have always had a good sex life but the last year or so has become very difficult. Basically he 'comes' really quick. I havent even broke out in a sweat and its over. He says we need to practice more a him stopping himself. it leaves me very frustrated (used even)and not wanted to try it again. Advice please as we are only young and its not getting better on its own....

thanks everybody - we dont have sex that often because it has become such a problem so id rather go without. Its my new years resolution to make an effort more. We had a fantastic sex life before. BTW I dont understand the monster munch thing - am i being thick?

Not thick at all! I'd just sell my soul for most maize - based snacks, thats all.

cheap date!

You had a fantastic sex life before what? Has he stopped drinking or had some other life change?

No nothing. Admittedly we have stopped going out as much - thats what children do thod

When you went out more did he drink then?

yeah but he drinks now too

Honestly, it won't be a problem if you have sex at least a couple of times a week and have more varied sex than him on top, thrusting away .

ok its my new years resolution to have more sex. We are only 32 and 36! Tries it last night with me on top but same happened. Next ime we will try and relieve him forst then try an hour later. I find it a bit embarrassing talking about it to be honest. Why cant we just do it like rabbits like we used to???dp says things change and i cant have everything easy and we are a team and need to get thru it together. He said he cant do it on his own (so to speak) and he needs my help and support. One of our main problems is never being relaxed. children are 10 and 6 and we are always worries they will burst in and see us in the act. I have suggested a lock on bedroom door but dp isnt keen on that idea. We were wondering what all you other people do. Do you only do it when you know they are asleep? What happens when kids are older and go to bed later than you want to?!!

Relaxation is the key, if you are physically tense (either of you) then it makes the problem worse.
He is right, you are a team and you will get through this, his body will take a bit of time to be re-trained, make it a goal to have sex every day for a week and see what happens.

A lock on the door is the simplest and hence best solotion. Knock and wait doesn't always work. If you are mid act just how quickly will your DH react? Not too fast? If he is at the crucial point will he react at all?

At any age you can have perfectly good sex without making so much noise that the kids will guess what you are doing. The silent orgasm is actually more intense in my experience.

B&Q for me tomorrow

what happened then Shattered? Did you get that lock and find things improved??

Speaking as a bloke on this:

Stroking the salami before hand works in the short term, but in the long run it'll actually make it worse, because he'll learn to go twice in quick succession.

A cock ring is brilliant for making things takes longer (also makes it take less time for you).

Lengthly foreplay will get you there quicker, but him as well. For example, going down on DP will mean that I last about half the time.

Does anyone else find that missionary position is actually the way that takes the least amount of time? Never figured out why, as I personally find that her on top is the most enjoyable & the longest lasting.

A good idea is for him to do pelvic floor exercises. It is the control of this muscle which determines how long one lasts. So as a set of pelvic floor exercises will help out, in conjunction with the starting & stopping routine it should help.

missionary is always the way to get him to shoot fast - cos girl has little control!

Hey, if you want a guys perspective on this, I have PE too, and it makes us feel like shit when this happens. Your DH's probably hiding his feelings about how shit it makes him feel, from you.
There are things he can do to make it better, drugs (like anti-depressants (yes really)), or other more natural ways - like exercises (kegels for men) or "edging" which is basically w*king combined with start-stop to build up stamina! He's gotta want to put a bit of effort in to solve the problem, but you can reassure him that it can be fixed and it's something you can work on together.

Hopefully at some point in the last 6 years they've worked something out.

Oh dear Tom, what were you googling ?

I read that condom helps.

Get a lock, you will feel much better. I don't under why your DP is against this. Is it because he is afraid someone can not get in in case of emergency? If so, there are door knobs that can be unlock with a flathead screwdriver or so.

I use air filter in another room to drain out some sounds for my kids (teenage son) and in the morning too.

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