WTF.....

[CeeTee]

ok. Dh & I are not getting along, surprize.
So anyway, my question is for SAHM, or WM who dont make as much as DH....Does he call his money..."HIS MONEY"? Mine has started that & it's really pissing me off.... My thinking is that he is able to buy stupid sh*& and fuss at me for getting groceries, clothing etc.... can anyone help???

We had a conversation where he jokingly called me a "loser" & when he saw that I was upset he asked why, I explained to him exactly why I was upset by the comment. I have the ability to make good money, benefits, 401k all that is needed to support my family.(I have before) Our family needs my help now & they are trying to support me the best they can at the moment financially. I feel like maybe it gives him a little ego boost that he is the breadwinner, but I don't understand why he needs to validate himself that way.

He is beginning to improve so we shall see.

me and dh have always shared the money, joint account, buy what we need first and then maybe treat ourselves or each other if there is any left over.

I am always amazed at couples who have their own money. we went out for dinner a few months ago, there was my husbands sister and her husband, then his brother and his wife.
when the bill came, I just got out the visa card to pay our third, but the rest split it up individually.

my dh's siter didn't have enough to pay for all of hers and so had to borrow five pounds from her husband!!!!! wtf!

SAHM - it is our money - we have a strict budget ... and so a certain amount is allowed for groceries etc.. based on what we spend on average sort of and then dh and I have pocket money on top of that.... all bills are paid by direct debit from our joint account.

Even when we were both earning good money and I was working full time - bills paid from joint account, a set amount for groceries etc and then we got a certain amount of pocket money a week each.

Big purchases are discussed. He never questions what I spend my money on and if I do spend more than we have budgeted for I never have to justify myself.

we have your money goes in my money goes in but it's all out of one big pot really, we're gonna do a second joint account for my money to go into - his will go into the main for bills etc mine into the second for food/petrol/to live on etc iycwim, when i've had the baby i'm not expecting to change this - althou the money will go down hopefully i'll be able to work from home so won't have childcare costs etc. this month he moaned a bit about lack of funds - so I analised ona sheet who'd spent waht and where the money went (only took about 15 mins) and worked out he'd actually spent about £100 more than me - soon stopped the moaning!

Reading through this I was going to suggest keeping a spending diary for a week but it looks like you've done that... Honestly, even before dh and I were married it was 'our' money from the minute we got a joint account. And despite the fact that I'm not working and staying at home with our 10 month ds, he still talks about 'our' money. (We're not perfect though - money isn't an issue but keeping the house clean sure is.) I hope it all gets worked out!

I make more than my DH. Always will, probably. He was a SAHD for the first two years od DD life.

I would NEVER, EVER in a million years referring to what I earn as 'my' money. To me, that's just f(*&ing disrepectful to my DH, full stop.

It's OUR family - we created our children together. OUR bills, OUR mess and OUR money. It all goes into our one and only account and always will, whether we earn £14,000/pa or £14m.

If I wanted it to be 'my' money I'd have stayed single.

SAHM: It's our money. All the bills etc are mostly in my name but dh ensures they get paid. I never check the bank account btbh I never spend eratically, If I want to get something (out of courtesy) I check whith dh it's ok..He goes mad saying " you don't need to ask me..it's OUR money"!!! LOL...

I always feel bad about spending when I don't earn but I suppose I am working: Bringing up dd !!!
DH & I are currently "negotiating" a "salary" for me so I don't feel so bad about spending from joint.

We also have friends who split bills between then 50/50 and they to are married WITH A BABY..MMMM so you owe me 23p for ds's dinner ..!! WTF..!!!

ps. I don't mean to offend..