Not sure what to do for the best

[kerdazzle]

I split from dp 2 year ago we agreed every fortnight and once a week contact, but he was turning up unannounced when and what time he liked.
I met a partner all was fine till the dc mentioned that dp told the dc he wanted to kill himself and was asking personal questions about what activities was happening and keep an ear out!!
He kept threatening me about taking me to court for the dc then and kept texing blackmailing messages about what his solicitor was saying so I stopped contact and went to a solicitor myself they wrote a letter stating why and what.
3 months had gone by he went on holiday done what he needed to do now has decided he wants the dc I'm willing for the dc to see their dad but he has been asking them who they want to live with and saying stuff like me and a mate are coming to get yo.

Who is he saying him and a mate are coming to get, the kids to live with him, or to intimidate you?

What ages are the kids?

How long has your dp been about?

How is contact split now, exactly, is it one day a week, any overnights?

Normally Dad's who have had a large part in the children's upbringing would go for custody or if there were issues with Mum, I imagine if he is only seeing them a day a week? from your post that he won't get custody!

Hi,

To get them.

The kids are 13, 12, 7 and 3 but the 13 and 7 have spec needs

Well he has always been on there scene but not interested in them like he always went out and bother with them as work and friends came 1st.

Well he saw them boxing day through solicitors as I know kids wants to see him but not sure where he living I wouldn't allow overnight but when the kids came back they were weird and upset as they weren't allowed to bring gifts home and he told them he has near on full custody which is a lie as it hasn't gone to that stage :( he is emotionally wearing us all down

what does your solicitor tell you?

Do you think your ex has sn's?

Have you got any emotional support in rl?

Well she is pleased that he admitted suicide but he denies it to everyone else I know he is a pathological liar, I'm worried as he has made the dc lie for him that they are getting to stage where they think lying is good and coursing x amount of probs.

It's awkward as I don't want to stop contact as they need their dad but then I think he is messing with there heads so the protective mum comes into play and that's when I feel I'm getting frowned upon I don't know what's right or wrong anymore

Your ep has admitted to your solicitor that he has felt suicidal in the past and she is pleased. What is she advising you to do?