How can you tell if a man "fancies" you?

[NotEnoughTime]

Bit of background.

I have been happily married for over ten years. I met my husband at work. There is a guy (lets call him Scott) who we both used to work with that my husband was convinced "fancied" me back when we all used to work together. We have recently moved house and Scott now lives VERY near us and we are back in contact.

My husband still thinks that Scott is attracted to me but I do not know whether this is true or not as Im not very good at reading signals. (Even when I was young and half decent looking and 3 stone lighter I never realised when someone was chatting me up, it always had to be pointed out to me by my friends!)

Scott has always been very complimentary towards me (ie noticing when Ive had my hair done or saying things like wow you look really good in that dress) and we have always enjoyed a laugh and chat together but he has never said or done anything that I think is out of order.

However if my husband is right then I would possibly back off from being friendly with Scott as

A)I dont want to upset or disrespect my husband and
B)I dont want to encourage Scott who is (seemingly) happily married with children.

Do you think Scott is just being nice and friendly towards me (which is what I think) or do you think he is "coming on to me" (which is what my husband thinks?)

Any answers or thoughts would be appreciated as I really dont want this to cause a problem in my marriage. Many thanks.

Scott COULD be gay

No idea. nobody's ever fancied me in my life

However, it doesn't really matter if this scott fancies you or not. what matters is how your husband feels.

If there was a woman that you were convinced fancied your husband and who you believed you saw flirting with him, and he was friendly with, what would you want him to do? Ignore how you feel? find out if she did fancy him? take a step back out of respect for your feelings? tell you to stop being so stupid because it's you he loves and it doesn't matter if this person fancies him, he's not going to betray you?

Sounds like you want to know to soothe your own ego rather than any answers for your husband. FWIW you can still be freindly to someone who 'fancies you' as long as your partner knows you are for THEM.

He may fancy you but not be coming on to you. Just accept him as a friend you can chat to, & don't worry about it.

Thanks HappyHECmanay that is helpful.

Thanks too Taghain, you could be right.

Cyb-I really dont think Scott is gay (or if he is he does a very good job of hiding it) but I really dont get what you mean by "soothe your own ego".

she means you are getting off on the idea that this guy fancies you and how jealous your husband is.

She means she THINKS you are, that should have read.

I wouldn't blame you. I'd be floating on air if someone fancied me.

I've flirted and 'fancied' other men, but I would never do anything about it.

Thanks for clearing that up HappyHECmanay, if Cyb does think that then she couldnt be more wrong. Like I said I DONT want it to cause problems in my marraige (would anyone?-marriage can be tough enough without any extra aggro)

I don't know. It was just my interpretation of the post. It's not my intention to try to speak for her.

I shouldn't have said "she means". I should have said I THINK she means.

It isn't a big deal then, is it? He's not acting on it, he sounds like a flirt which is no harm. If your husband is insecure enough to think you will act on it, thats his issue to deal with

Wish my H's friends would flirt a bit more...might make evenings out more fun

Thank you Cyb.