I really do not like my mother.

[HowsTheSerenity]

I have moved back in with my parents after being away for five years.

My mum has always been an alcoholic but now that I am living with her I notice it more.
She is passed out by 7pm at the latest. She is argumentative. She is racist and bigoted (gives the BNP a run for their money).

I cannot talk to her about anything as she is always right and any other opinion is wrong and if you tell her this then she has a tantrum.

She no longer cares what she looks like. In a sense I am ashamed to be seen with her. She has put on weight due to her drinking too but happily tells me I am fat but will not listen to criticisim about herself.

I have a different idea about everything in ife so that will cause arguments. I know that I can move out (and I will when I get a job) but I will still have to see her.

She is a horrible person. But she is my mother.

Any ideas?

Returning to parents after five years away must have been hard for you. Is there no-one else you can live with?. Can you not move out?.

Honestly, you have no obligation to such a person even though she is your mother. My guess too is that she was never much of a kind or naturing mother ever towards you. You would not tolerate such toxicity from a friend, your mother is no different in that regard. Why therefore do you still have to see her even when you've moved out?.

It is not your fault she is an alcoholic, you are not responsible for her at the end of the day although you are most probably trapped in the fear, obligation, guilt cycle.

If you have not already done so I would talk to Al-anon as they are helpful to family members of problem drinkers.

I have just moved back to Australia from England and am waiting to start a new job (location tba) hence living with my parents.

She does not think she has a problem so AA wont help her. I have thoughtabout AlAnon in the past though.

So, have I got this right... you dont like her, start a thread about all her faults and call her "horrible" then ask for ideas on how to deal with her...

No brainer - dont deal with her, move out.

Well, no one forced the OP to return to live with her mother. She is an adult and her mother (whatever her faults) is doing the OP a favour?

Being a shit is not doing someone a favour though is it?

Thats why she should move out!
Why be beholden to someone you dont like, respect and think is horrible?

I moved back to help my family. My sister is getting seperated, had three kids under 2, Dad is not well etc etc etc

I live with my mother atm as I have no where else to go. I did not give myself enough time to save a decent amount of money.

And while I do not like my mothers behaviour she is still my mum so I do love her.

I guess I should have asked for some advice, coping strategies etc. How to deal with the behaviour and comments without starting WW3.

So Atilla, I have emailed AlAnon and will go to a meeting next week. I guess I just need support and advice.

Unavailable, hmm thanks.