Practical/urgent help needed - friend has been kicked out by her DP.

[BertieBottlesOfMulledWine]

Relationship has been emotionally abusive and controlling (by him) - I've posted about her before. I don't know what's happened, I just have a text from about an hour ago.

I'm worried because they have a little boy (age 2) and I don't know whether he is with her or her DP (his dad) - worried because the DP is likely to have drunk quite a bit and was making suicidal type comments on facebook earlier (although I'm almost certain this was for attention). She said she was on a mate's sofa and didn't mention her DS but I have just texted back asking if she has him or whether she left him behind.

Firstly - is this a very bad thing with regard to if they do split up and there's a custody battle - and secondly, should I ring someone (Police?) or just stay out of it?

Call her if you are that worried.

Call her, find out about the boy and call police SS and report FB messages.

Yes just about to. She's not replying to texts but think she might be asleep.

OK just tried to call twice and the phone makes a weird noise like an answerphone kicking in (it's a mobile though) and then it sounds connected but it's silent, nobody is replying.

Do you know where this friend lives?

Yes, I know the address. I can't go round though, am a single parent myself and I can't drive anyway.

Honestly if you're worried about her and if he's been posting suicidal messages on facebook I'd call the police. Either police will find everything's fine and no harm's done or it's not fine and you'll need the police.

There isn't a whole lot you can do. I know the poor woman is in a terrible situation but she isn't giving you the info to help her, PLUS, if she has left her DS then that was her call and you can't undo it. It wouldn't seem great in a residency application but then if she was under duress...

If she's on a mates sofa then I'm sure she will have sorted something out for her son. Try not to worry.

I suppose even if he is in bed in a drunken stupor now the police arriving might shock him into realising how bad this is... only thing is if I ring them now it's going to be extremely obvious it was me.

But if he goes through with his threat with a child in the house... I couldn't take the risk personally. The police don't need to say who called.

Take a screen dump of the facebook posts in case he deletes later and it all kicks off.

Yeah I have saved a screenshot of the facebook post. First he says the only thing keeping him going is and then a bit later says "i think it is time to give up on it all and just think FUCK IT as it is life" and then someone asks what's going on and then nothing else. But as I said he drinks a lot and this kind of drama isn't unheard of (but he's never kicked her out before)

Do you not think it is down to your friend to report the situation though? Surely she wouldn't have ;left her DS and then done nothing about ensuring his safety???

I don't know, I really don't. Without wanting to sound mean I don't think she would have the nerve to call the police on him. She told me once that she was frightened he might have sex with her in her sleep and when I told her that was rape she said "I couldn't report him for that!"

I know this is different because it's her son, but I really don't know that she would have thought to inform anybody.

I'm half tempted to text my ex and get him to go round and check (which would be less drastic than the police) but TBH I don't want to get involved there either because my ex was EA to me and I try to keep contact to an absolute minimum.

Thinking practically. The baby usually sleeps through so should be fine until the morning. It's rather unlikely he would have done anything stupid. I really don't need to get dragged into this. I'm going to hope that my friend or the friend she is staying with has some sense and has sorted something out or sent someone to check on him.

I probably would have phoned them had I noticed the status thing earlier but now everybody has probably gone to bed it seems to be making a mountain out of nothing. I have the facebook thing saved in case it's needed later. I'm going to go to bed and ask my friend to text me in the morning.

Hope all's well and that you sleep okay despite the worry :)