When, realistically, do you think you start to feel normal again? My husband left me for another woman four months ago, and it feels like I'm not getting anywhere with the emotional recovery. I would be really interested in knowing how other people coped, and how long it took...
Practically, I've made a lot of progress. Filed for divorce, more or less agreed the finances, started to organise things the way I want them done, and so on. And the dcs have kept their routine, and the things they are used to, which I am proud of.
I posted at the time under a different name and received some wonderful advice and support, which I still revisit. Lots of you assured me things would get better, but I still feel tearful at least once a day, tired, and generally quite desperate. I don't think I miss him, as such - he's proved to be far too much of an arse for that - but I do feel very sad when I think about what I thought we had, and slightly panicked when I think about the future, which seems quite lonely and bleak.
I know this is a bad time of year - the days are so short, Christmas was pretty grim, we're all ill, and things are generally a bit miserable. So it's not the best time of year to be expecting to feel great, but I am so bored of being sad all the time. And bored of thinking about what he's done, and why he did it. Counselling is helping, but it's incredibly expensive so I am trying to ration myself to a session every three weeks or so.
I can see there has been some progress. I am at least through the shocked phase, and am not really angry any more. I am just so very sad, and sick of feeling like this. Do you think you can think yourself out of being sad? Perhaps I just need to give myself a mental shake and tell myself to stop wallowing - I have darling children who are just wonderful, my family have been incredibly supportive and my friends have all rallied round. Maybe it's time to start being grateful for what I've got, rather than obsessing about what I've lost.