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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

what do you consider to be an acceptable age gap?

46 replies

ladysybil · 25/12/2010 00:24

If you meet a couple, or hear about them. when do you decide its just too weird? most people i know have a couople of years between them, max. the girl is usually younger than the guy. but what is just unacceptable in your opinion. ten years? fifteen? her older?

OP posts:
primrose22 · 25/12/2010 01:05

my ex dh was mostly a great bloke, although at times v.imature, selfish and v.v.hard work! My dp is 12 yrs younger than me and way more mature and 'together' than many men my own age. I think age is irelevant really. By the way, merry christmas to you all! I'm sat here waiting for the right time to be santa, my 2 dcs seem a little restless at the mo! : )

RantyMcRantpants · 25/12/2010 01:08

I'm 10 years older than my DH and he is way more mature than my exDH, who was the same age as me.

BitOfFun · 25/12/2010 01:41

My dad is 18 years older than my mum. It shows now that he's 81, and I feel sad that she'll be left behind when he goes. If you fall in love, you fall in love though.

Clary · 25/12/2010 01:52

Half your age plus seven

This is good as it means David Tenant is OK for me Grin

It does work tho - 18yo - 9 plus 7 is 16, yes that's OK; 36yo, 18 plus 7 is 25, yes also OK.

madhattershouse · 25/12/2010 01:58

Ohhh I'd love a 25 yo!! Mines 11 years older and it does start to show as they get to 50 and you still want to party! Xmas Grin

SnowyGonzalez · 25/12/2010 02:21

Mine's 15 years older and we're well matched. I've always found blokes my age too immature, and younger blokes even worse.

Iwasthefourthwiseman · 25/12/2010 04:43

Dh is 17 years older than me so that post makes me sad BoF, however dh will probably off me before then so it won't be an issue!

allgonebellyup · 25/12/2010 08:47

madhatter- i have just broken up with a 25yo, and he was the most immature wanker i had ever met!! (im nearly 6yrs his senior)

WherecanIhide · 25/12/2010 09:37

My 'd'h (who has just dumped me) is 12 years older than me.

He is 51 and obsessed with a 22 year old. 29 years difference. Too ridiculous for words in ANY circumstances.

suburbophobe · 25/12/2010 10:15

My ex-husband is 13 years younger, I was doing a Demi way before her!! Grin

Have also had boyfriends up to 22 years younger...

Age is just a number.

IAmReallyFabNow · 25/12/2010 11:00

My dh is 2 months younger. My friend's wife is 15 years older than him. He plans to leave her though. Another friend is with someone 15 years older and she is very happy. When I was 19 I went out with someone who was 35 and the problem was we were different nationalities, not the age gap.

ivykaty44 · 25/12/2010 11:02

anything under 50 years is ok, over 50 years is passable and 75 is unacceptable really, now of very happy big age gap marriages

mugggletoeandwine · 25/12/2010 11:17

"My dad is 18 years older than my mum. It shows now that he's 81, and I feel sad that she'll be left behind when he goes. If you fall in love, you fall in love though."

BOF, my Dad was 20 years older than my Mum. She died 9 years ago and he is still going strong at 86.
There are no guarantees in life so if you fall on love then go for it.

suburbophobe · 25/12/2010 12:08

Right on! Otherwise I wouldn't have my beautiful child! Grin

ladysybil · 25/12/2010 12:32

:) thank you all for your lovely posts
and i thougth everyone would be all judgy

agree about the no guarantess in life one. sad , but true.

OP posts:
Gay40 · 25/12/2010 12:46

I don't think it matters in the slightest, as long as both parties are legal and fine with it. I know some people of my own age who are stupidly immature, yet others of 20-25 who are on my level. DP is the same age as me but more importantly, the same emotional age.

GandalfyCarawak · 25/12/2010 12:48

21 years between me and DH. Mind you, him being about 19 in his head and me being born 40, I rarely think about it. :o

lololizzy · 25/12/2010 12:50

14.5 yrs with me and DP (he's older), 8 yrs with my parents. I have had a 20 yr gap. (older than me) but also toyboys..i'm not very age aware , just the person aware!

molemesses · 25/12/2010 20:03

16 years between me and DH, He's the older one in year but my god I am so much more mature than him. Not boasting or meaning it in a nasty way but there are things he does and says that makes me groan and wish that he would just grow up.

SnowyGonzalez · 26/12/2010 18:49

Like muggles, my folks had a huge age gap. Mum died 6 years before dad, despite being 25 years younger. Sad

ledkrsbellyislikesantas · 26/12/2010 19:10

dh is ten yrs younger than me,i have never been so happy,we laugh like drains everyday and our baby is due in 5 wks,he is by far the more mature and sensible one.

SilveryMoon · 26/12/2010 19:14

My dp is 11 years older than me, but neither of us have ever really noticed.
When we met I was 24 and he was 35.
I think that's fine, but then if we'd met and I was 18 and he was 29, I'd think it very very odd.
So I don't actually think there is a problem with an age gap, but more about what the ages are iyswim

seanbonbon · 26/12/2010 19:23

I'm so happy to see the responces on this thread, the happy ones I mean.

My lovely sister who is 36 is going out with a guy who is 27.
They are together nearly two years now and seem so well matched and happy.

But OHMYFUCKINGGOD the judgey judgey pants on some people regarding them. Particularly all my five SILs (who all married their childhood sweethearts who lived within a two mile radius).

It's as if they are just waiting for the day when they split then they can all raise their eyebrows and purse their lips together.
Gah- live and let live - you can't choose who you fall in love with and who amoung us has the perfect relationship anyway?

seanbonbon · 26/12/2010 19:26

responses
among
Sorry- can you guess my blood was starting to boil as I typed?Grin

ChoudeBruxelles · 26/12/2010 19:27

Half your age + 7 doesn't really work so well if you're 70 though does it.

As long as the younger person is an adult and both people are happy does it really matter. They would both know that there is an age gap going into the relationship.